~Life~

Date error

2011-06-10T15:24:00.002+08:00

Chapter 8: 愛 was published on the 2nd of June, not on the 28th of April =)

Chapter 8: 愛 (Love) [Ai]

2011-04-28T02:27:00.025+08:00

I finally understood the feeling of being left hanging, and the feeling of lost. But I finally knew what its like to love someone who isn't my family, and until today, I have no regrets

I'm not blaming anyone, I just feel that I have to remind myself of this

It all started when I proposed to Sue Yen, asking her to be my girlfriend. After accepting, most likely because of the pressure she felt, she told me that she don't know if its the right decision. But I told her, that she can withdraw her acceptance and give it a thought. But instead she told me that, she made up her mind and accepted me.

We started off quite awkwardly for the first 2 weeks as we had double dates instead of a date between the two of us. I was abit unhappy about it, and told her about it. But as time passes, I came to love the Sue Yen whois, loud, cheerful, talkative, manja, and dared to take risk with me. On our 3rd week, which happened to be the most happiest day of our entire relationship, started off badly. We had a misunderstanding at first, but everything then turned for the better, when we had a 1 on 1 conversation. She told me that she thinks that I deserve someone whois better than her, and she wants to know what i'm expecting from her and that she will change for me. So then I told her that I love her for the way she is and I don't want her to change for me. If she were to change, I'd want her to change for herself, not for me. Told her that I feel like i'm giving most of the time, but not receiving. After the conversation, she seemed to be very happy after that.

We watched movie, ate dinner, went up a hill and had the happiest time ever in our relationship. She finally open up to me by telling me things that she wants to do together, as she doesn't open up to me at all until that night. And I somehow made her cried as well, out of happiness. Which actually made me feel happy like i've never felt before.

When the fourth week came, she seemed to be stressed with work, and I was worried and I didn't know how to cheer her up as she isn't opening to me about her work. I told her that I don't know whether I should cheer her up or to give her sometime alone and that I felt useless. She tried to call me the next day, but I left my phone at home. When I got back, I tried calling her twice, but she didn't pick up the phone as she was in a meeting. But she messaged me saying that she is alright, and that there is nothing for me to worry about. Which already give me the vibes that she is NOT alright.

2 days later she asked me out, I knew something was wrong when I met her and she isn't being the normal manja Sue Yen that I knew. She started to be very quiet and we hardly even talk about anything at all. Until I sent her back, she said that she was hurt because I told her that I felt useless, and that she wants me to take my time and think about it.

The next day I asked her out and talked to her about it, and tried to hold her hand, but she moved my hand away, and said that I needed time to think. So then the option that I never thought of came up to me, if whatever answer i'm giving isn't right to her, then I guess she wants a breakup then.

So then 2 days after that, I called her out, and told her that if we cannot overcome this problem, then we should just cut it clean here. She also mentioned that because of another friend of mine, she thinks that, to me, our relationship is all about calculation, and that i'm very calculative and that all she can provide me is money. When she said that to me, I felt so hurt, to hear that from her. Telling her that its not the choice that I want to come to but I really don't know what else she wants me to decide. So then she burst to tears saying that she had NEVER thought of breaking up, and that she wants me to think about us, but because I brought up breaking up, her mind was set to break up. But then I said, fine, if this is what you want. Then she said NO this is NOT what I want, this is because you brought it up. Then I told her that its NOT what I want, I want us to take off where we left off, and that all I wanted from her is to share with me her problems, thats the least I can do for her, even if I cannot do anything about it. She then started to tell me why she was sad, and then told me that by her telling me why she is sad, it makes her even sadder. And then she told me that she cannot absorb all of this at a time and that she wants to go back. After sending her, she said, continue this conversation the next day IF I want.

I went to consult with my friends, some of them said to hang on, and some of them harshly told me to breakup with her. But I believed in her and I really do love her to the extent that I would do anything for her. I don't give a damn what my friend or her friends says about her, they do not know her like I do.

I've never been so sure as to what I want other than going to Japan, and studying japanese, and told her that yes, I want. The next day, we talked and then she told me that she wants us to start anew, but with a few condition of hers, and I told her mine as well. We got back together, and I thought that we would be like before, but unfortunately she changed... She doesn't seem to care about me like she used to, hardly reply my messages, and when we hold hands, she doesn't even grip my hands. Its like holding a corpse's hand. I was fine with that, until my dad was hospitalized and I needed her to be by my side at that emotional moment. Telling me that she can't is alright, but not making up for it ticks me off.

So then I messaged her saying how I felt and I wanted her to think about us, and that i'm not thinking of a breakup, I told her that it takes two sides to make this relationship work. She then asked me to meet her, which I agreed. But then she took it for granted that I would be going to fetch her despite she was the one who asked me out. I asked her if she could meet me up at my place, but she said no, she doesn't want to go so far, so then I said, you're taking me for granted and with your current mindset I don't feel like seeing you. Letting her feel what I felt during the first misunderstanding, on that night itself, she sent me a breakup text message, which was read in the morning as I was asleep that night. I send her back messages saying that i'm dissapointed in her and etc. But then after seeing her post in facebook that she declared being single and that she felt so relieved, there is no point in me arguing.

So then I messaged her Thank you for the 2 months, and that my promise to her still remains, that is if she needs me, call me, i'll be there.

I didn't like the way it ended, but its what she decided and no matter what I do or say, won't change anything.

3 days later after the breakup, I was angry and frustrated, and then I thought I was fine with it emotionally, so happen to be our 2nd month anniversary, but on that morning itself, I dreamt of her. I woke up, and ended up locking myself up in the room, my tears couldn't stop dropping out the whole day.

Even until today, I still think about our happiest night, think about her and I still love her. She hopes that I forget, but to me, god gave us memory, so that we learn or cherish it. And to me, I cherish every moment that i'm with her, may it be happy or sad. Its tough acting like you're okay in front of your peers when you're actually not, I really miss her alot.

I believe in the future, we might cross paths again and if we do, i'm sure it'll be something worthwhile.

"貴方は俺の最初と最後の彼女になって欲しい" - Daryl a.k.a Vash, Wiegraf, and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 7.3: 成長 (Growth) [Seichou]

2009-01-19T21:04:00.005+08:00

Well i've not been posting for quite sometime because one of the reasons is beacause I wanted to give my friends a surprise. Before that, the city that i'm living in which is called "Tokorozawa" had decorated the streets with beatiful lightings and decorations, below are the piccies~

Tree decoration near the train station

Street decoration

Well and on December 18th, the day that i've been longing for 8 months (lolz). That is the day that I flew back to Malaysia for my Winter holidays. On the 18th itself, as soon as I reached, we had a family gathering and dinner here are the piccies

Poh poh looks funky with the sunglasses (lolz)

Trevor baked for me a welcome back cake!

And on that same day, we celebrated Uncle Sang Kwi's belated birthday as well (lolz) and if i'm not mistaken this cake is also baked by Trevor

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that Arisa joined us for that dinner as well. As to who Arisa is, she is a Japanese that i've met here in Tokorozawa. She went to Malaysia somewhere back in October 2008 to do her internship in Sheraton Subang. Before she went to Malaysia, I promised her that I will take her out when I come back. Which I did (lolz). Yeah and one more thing, i've got nothing towards her, alot of people misunderstood this especially my Malaysian friends (lolz). She has a boyfriend back in Canada, and we're nothing but friends.

Later on that night, I went out to give my gang a surprise, as me and Hong Chun already had been planning this out for months. And I really want to apologize to him as he had to make a big lie just to gather them out without noticing that I am back. Exactly 1 week before I came back, he told the gang that he had a big announcement to make and he wants everyone to gather on the day I came back which they don't know, and they thought that something was wrong as he was very serious. He lied to them saying that he is getting married and well most of them had a little doubt of that as Hong Chun is well known in our gang as the "The King of Bullshits" (lolz). BUT, there was ONE person who believed him all the way through, as to why, at first that ONE person had a little doubt of it until, I played mind games with them as well, faking that I believe that this time Hong Chun is seriously getting married and that ONE person was the ONE who get all excited and he told me "Daryl, i've NEVER seen Hong Chun this serious in my life". Well it proved that Hong Chun is doing great at acting as well (lolz). And that ONE person is Kae Shiuh (lolz). When I surprised them on that night by just walking and sitting down on the table that they're sitting at Misai's place, they were like "OMG! What are you doing here!?" and "When did you come back!!??". It was really fun to see their surprised faces.

Aite back to the update, I actually invited my cousins to come for dinner on Sunday, but my mum invited them for dinner on the day I arrived from Japan. So we went according to plan, and then continue with the dinner that I planned on Sunday, well of course my treat (=D) here are the piccies~

Grandma and Ah Yee Irene, behind are the rest of my cousins (lolz)

Kor kor Lionel, Ee Chong, and Tua Yee Doreen (oh and the waitress~ =p)

Mum and Dad

From left: Ai Yee Irene, Wah Wah, Mum and Dad

The bill came up to RM1005, to be honest I was shocked (lolz). But it was still within my budget as I had RM2000 from all the work I collected. I actually wanted to use that cash to buy myself an XBOX360 but, well, at that time, as long as everybody is happy, then so am I.

Well I went back to my old night lifestyle, which is going out to SS2 and this is a view that I miss in Japan, the "Pasar malam" (Night market)

Next is celebrating Colin a.k.a "Mamat"'s Birthday (lolz) on the 23rd of December. Well as usual, both Trevor and Trisha are ALWAYS broke and I forked out cash for them again (~.~) here is the cake picture~

Well it was his birthday so I resisted the temptation of putting "Happy Birthday Mamat" (lolz) as he will definitely get angry

Next is Jia Hong's barbeque party at Pak Sun's house. Well if you guys are wondering how Arisa looks like, well i've got piccies of her for this occasion as I invited her to come along.

Arisa is sitting beside me, the girl in purple

Then on that night itself we went up to Genting, I was thinking whether I should go up there at first, but then Arisa said she wanted to go, so I haveta go, as I promised her that I will bring her to wherever she wanted if I am able to. So here are the piccies taken at Genting Highlands~

Some random view nearby the parking lot

Nearby the Rollercoaster

Jiann Yet

Me and Jiann Yet (realize that we switched clothes? lolz)

Me and Yeong Shan

Me and Chow Yang

Me and the gang

Me and Arisa

It was one of my most memorable times in Malaysia for 2008 as I was able to get into the casino, well along with Arisa as it was her first time as well, but she is already old enough to get in. We met Hong Chun and Terry in there and we played roulette, lost RM10 (lolz)

Then on the Christmas Day, which is on the 25th of December, Tua Yee Doreen "booked" me for a dinner (lolz). Its been quite sometime since I last had dinner at her place (2~3 years?). Well here is the picture of the food that was prepared for that dinner~

Yummy!

Then on the next day which is the 26th, I went to surprise my "Sie fu" Hui Ying, but unfortunately she found out while i'm on my way there as, Carmen was driving, so Hui Ying saw my sms on her phone (lolz). Well i've planned this with Carmen for quite sometime as well. More piccies~

From left: "Sie fu" Hui Ying and Carmen

Me and Carmen

Me and "Sie fu" Hui Ying

Then the next day, which is on the 27th, is the main reason as to why I actually came back, Sabrina's wedding. It was a surprise as well, but unfortunately it didn't go so well as to why, we weren't being entertained by anyone(we as in me, Trevor and Trisha), but congratulations Sabrina!

Trevor gazing

"Fatty" Trisha

Me and "Fatty" Trisha

Sabrina and her groom

Then on that very same day, I was forced to go down to Melacca by my dad to go for another wedding. Which was Brendan, my mum's Melacca's house neighbour's son. Well the wedding was better than Sabrina's as they got people to entertain us (lolz). Piccies~

Brendan and his bride

Then next is having dinner with my other cousins from my dad side, well its because they can't make it on that sunday, we had another dinner session with them, and of course, I paid. We had Bak Kut Teh, oh and its my first time meeting my niece, Leonie.

Bak Kut Teh!

Leonie

Then the next few days, Leonard's mum ask me out for dinner and we had Fish Head Curry! Well I didn't take any pictures while eating but after that I took pictures with Leonie and I took a picture with a rare sight of my dad (lolz).

Dad and Leonie

"Watch where you are touching!" - Leonie (lolz)

This time with mum

Then on the 31st of December, I had dinner with at Kau Fu Sang Kwi's house. And this is the time that I got really cranky as some of my friends that I wanted to spend New Year with was busy. So I ended up not going anywhere to celebrate New Year's Day especially Phui Thong, if you really call me your best friend, you could at least cancel your clubbing new year party and join us as I might not be here next year or the year after that. But I want to thank Jia Hong, Kae Shiuh and Hong Chun for trying to get me out but I didn't in the end. I slept awhile until 2am, when Swee Loong messaged me to go out for snooker, its been awhile since I last played snooker and had fun playing with Swee Loong. Then we went back at around 4am.

Even when I was sent to the airport I am very dissapointed with the gang, as not even 1 of them even made the initiative to SMS or call me before I board the plane. The only person who messaged me was "Sie fu" Hui Ying.

That closes up my 2 weeks of holiday in Malaysia.

Biggest dissapointment: Phui Thong, as far as you have responsibilities to your family sometimes you're being VERY unreasonable, and made me believe that he would be the "best friend" that I thought he'd be but unfortunately no, it didn't turn out that way.

Expected dissapointment: Guan Shern, i've heard about him changing alot, and now he spends more time with his new so-called "friends". I just want to be clear that I really used to think of him as a friend, but now, not even 1 bit, as his attitude now REALLY disgust me. If you're reading this Guan Shern, I want you to think, who are your real friends, who spent more time with you, who spent their high school lives with you?. Its definitely not your new friend, you know it yourself.

Faces that I see often back in Malaysia: Hong Chun, Swee Loong, Kae Shiuh, Jia Hong and Terry; I really want to thank you guys so much for spending your time with me for the short 2 weeks. I really am happy and glad that you guys took leave from work and time for me. Jia Hong, for helping me out when I had transportation problems. And most of all Swee Loong I really am grateful and thankful as I see him almost everyday ever since I came back until the day I flew back to Japan he spend most of his time to hang out with me.

Aite now to the life in Japan~

As soon as I came back to Japan I called Chisako, Fukuda-san and the rest of my Japanese contacts and Fukuda-san invited me for dinner the next day, which made me very glad. Fukuda-san and his wife has no children, and I guess they must've been lonely on New Year's Day as they don't have any kids to spend time with. I met Fukuda-san at the church and I really am glad that I went to that church even though i'm not a christian. So the next day, we (me and the missionaries and Kanari-kun) were supposed to go to his house but then he told us that his wife is not feeling well, so he brought us near my place and we ate Shabu-Shabu! Its my first time eating Shabu-shabu. As to what is Shabu-shabu, i'll let the picture do the talking~

From left: Fukuda-san and Kanari-kun

This time with me inside

And Fukuda-san payed for that delicious dinner, I really want to thank him alot as he is the only church member to invite me to dinner most of the time.

When school started back, I came across trees that looks like this

Well you can't blame me for taking that picture as its my first time seeing a tree like this and sides, its my first winter! (lolz).

And lastly, after watching "Hana Zakari no Kimitachi e" (a Japanese Drama) I got a new idea on how to style my hair, also remembering the tips that my hairdresser once told me. And the result~~~!!!

Nice eh? I even surprised myself, I didn't spend a single yen on doing this nor using a wax, and its my current hairstyle now.

Next is I went all the way to the opposite side of the Tokyo just to meet with Campos, the guy who I really thank alot because he is flying back to Brazil on February. Campos is a missionary for a church that is called "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints". Thanks to him I get to meet with alot of great people in the church also thanks to that I didn't feel THAT lonely anymore. Well he is with another companion at Koutzunomori near Narita city, we played basketball, table tennis and then we ate at a "Tabehoudai" (all you can eat) restaurant. Here are the piccies

From left: Campos and Pimentel

Me and Pimentel

Me and Campos

The next day, I hold a party for Na-chan and 2 other newcomers into our guesthouse. Well I totally forgot to take pictures of Na-chan and the 2 newcomers, but I took a picture of Erofy (lolz) and me!

Erofy playing the guitar, he is good at performing!

Me!

Finally as to why I chosed "Growth" as this chapter's title, is because, when I finally came back home, I realize that i've changed alot, i've grown alot during that 8 months. As to what kind of growth, I can't explain it well, but I know that i've grown alot.

Well sorry for the long late post. But till then sayounara~!

P.S: To those wondering about the girl i'm going for, her name is Matsuri, 19 years old. How I met her? Working together in McDonalds, but unfortunately for me, she already has a boyfriend. I did ask her out for a date, thats when she told me that she has a boyfriend. And being myself, I don't like to steal other people's girlfriend and therefore i'm no longer persuing her. Sides, there are always chances ahead =).

P.P.S: The new bgm I put into this site, I love it, its been playing on my head for a few days now!

"Mae susumou!" - Daryl a.k.a Wiegraf, Vash and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 7.2: 一生の宝 (Lifelong treasures) [Isshou no Takara]

2008-10-18T22:20:00.007+08:00

Well i've not been posting lately due to my laziness (lolz sorry) and had been quite busy with my part-time job and study (not really about study =p). Well i'll start off with my birthday. Well 1 month before my birthday, my family sent me a birthday card which was kinda plain, but hey, its the thought that counts right? Well as for this posts, I am proud to say that I have people who I can call FRIENDS. I was kinda touched for what they did for me for my birthday. They made a fool outta themselves in McDonalds, here is the vid:

Well i'm not sure about you guys, but to me I was really touched till my tears came out watching this vid. I really want to thank Kae Shiuh, Dan, Hong Chun, Chow Yang, Jia Hong, Guan Shern, Jiann Yet and Pak Sun. It really comforted me and made me know that I always have a home to come back to. Well to me, my only priority was only my family, but now, both family and friends, obviously family first though (lolz).

Then on my birthday eve, Kan-chan organized a birthday party dinner for me. I want to thank her for organizing that party as in Japan, 20 year old birthday, is the most important year. Well in Malaysia we call it the "Key Year". As at the age of 20, they're allowed to drink and do whatever they want. Whilst in Malaysia the "Key Year" is 21 years old. So beforehand, Kan-chan already told me to decide what i'd wanna eat so I told her that I wanted to eat pizza. So then we went to a restaurant whereby they had an "All you can eat pizza and pasta" for about 2000yen per person? (Which is around RM60). Well i'm not so sure for the price as they paid for me. The people who came are Kan-chan, Fujin-chan, Doa-chan, Sensei and Suke-chan. Here is the photo of them:

From left: Suke-chan, me, Sensei (Nagai-Yuuko), Doa-chan, Kan-chan and Fujin-chan

Well I doubt you guys can hardly see Kan-chan's picture so heres a picture taken from her birthday:

From left: Jhoanna-chan, Fujin-chan, Kan-chan, Tama-chan and Eiko-san

As for present, Kan-chan and Fujin-chan bought for me a jacket, which was quite good. Well thanks to Suke-chan's "great idea" I ended up like this:

Yeap, thats me in my new "jacket" (lolz).

Aite next is my part-time job. I'm hired in McDonalds (lolz) being paid 800yen per hour (which is roughly about RM24 per hour). I've been working lately to get the things i've wanted, and the most recent things that i've bought for myself is the Nintendo DS. Also heres my uniform picture along with my name tag (lolz):

Uniform

McPork!

Well if you guys are wondering what my name tag states, it is "Dariru Rimu Jia Sen" pronounced that way as well (though it doesn't seems to sound right to me lolz). And well working here in japan is tough. As to why, they're tooo strict and you must always be on the move, no time to even catch a breath unlike in Malaysia whereby everything is done according to one's pace (not all though but most of the jobs). But oh well, thanks to that, i've got to make new friends. And most of the highschoolers from the age 15~18 are currently working there which is just what I wanted as most of my friends are older people which are late 20s and 30s.

Also, Aunt Mei from Australia came down to Japan, she, Uncle Ron, Aunty Cathy and Aunty Margaret. So I brought them to Yokohama, which is famous for Chinatown (where they treated me chinese all you can eat buffet xD). I brought them to the "San kei en" as well (well I can't translate this, but its a big garden with alot of old buildings, basically its a town where all the rich people used to live in the late 1800s). Here are some pictures that I took with them:

Me and Aunty Cathy

From left: Aunty Margaret, Aunt Mei and Uncle Ron
Both are taken in the train though (lolz)

Well next is Festivals! When it comes to festivals, i'd always hyped in my own way (as to why I say my own way, I don't really look hyped but i'm actually hyped lolz). Firstly, is Hoshino Koukou Jyousei Gakko (litterally means Hoshino All-girls High School =D). Sensei teaches in this school so she invited us (me and Taka-chan) to go to her school's cultural festival! Here are some piccies~:

Sensei

Sadly they're plenty of Middle school girls rather than High school girls =( (=P)

Sensei's in charge of the Marching Band of this school, and it happens that the Marching Band in this school is quite famous, so basically it was the school cultural festival's main event.

Next is the party we had at home, along with my housemates! But, somehow its like a nightmare to me, as to why, I just turned 20 and they're pushing me to drink, ALOT (lolz). Here are some pictures~

From left: Taka-chan and Sensei
Umph actually Taka-chan is a Korean, Sensei and Suke-chan said that he had the "Takashi look" so they decided to call him Taka-chan, real name (Park In Sang)

From left: Yoshikawa-san and Toni (nickname, real name is Hide something, which I forgot xD but he is a japanese alrite)

From left: Na-chan and the new person who just shift in, Kaori-san

Doa-chan (also a korean)

Last but not least, Mini-chan a.k.a Nuna (which means big sister in korean, as she is a korean)

Well in the end 3 person got drunk and knocked out which is Toni (KOed at the dining table which made me and Taka-chan had to drag him to his bed), Kaori-san (KOed and gave me a shocked as she drop right in front of my room) and Yoshikawa-san (KOed in the toilet lolz).

Next is TGS 2008! For all those gamers, they'd definitely know or at least heard of it, Tokyo Game Show 2008! Well i'll let the pictures do the talking~

My favourite company!

Dissidia Final Fantasy Limited Edition items

A close lookup at the Limited Edition PSP version for Dissidia Final Fantasy

Picture of FF: Dissidia's characters

Biohazard: Degeneration CG Movie

Well instead of coming here taking pictures of games, I ended up taking more pictures of chicks instead (hey, i'm a guy alright! lolz)

And some cosplayers that are some, OUTRAGEOUS and some that are cool

And finally time to leave =(. Before I left, here is the banner that I took~

Finally are the city festivals, one which is in Tokorozawa (the place i'm currently living in) and Hon-Kawagoe's festival (which was today)

Tokorozawa's festival (i've only got this picture)

Below are all Hon-kawagoe's city festival

Huge crowd @.@

Now THIS is a festival that I had in mind, stalls all over the city just like it is in the anime

This was delicious, Chicken Steak =D

Yeap... I LOVE festivals xD

Fox dancing...?

Haunted Mansion (600yen per person which is about rm18 per entry, OUCH! Didn't go in though =P)

Aite thats about it for this update, it is updated till today =). Thanks for your support and till then, laterz~!

Arigatou na minna - Daryl a.k.a Vash, Wiegraf and Urameshi Kiddo

P.S: Those who want to see more piccies, you can watch it here at http://www.dropshots.com/6Vash9 =)

Latest video!

2008-08-14T22:06:00.001+08:00

Whoops I forgot to post my latest YouTube video, enjoy~!

Chapter 7.1: Sabishii wa Tsurai (Loneliness is tough)

2008-08-14T01:18:00.002+08:00

Its been quite sometime since I last blogged, I thought nobody would really care until Ah Kit, message me saying "Dude how's life? U didnt update ur blog fer quite some time, lookin forward to updates" which tells me that they ARE people who are actually reading my blog other than my family and close friends. Its good to know that Kit is still reading my blog, despite we chat with each other online. But thanks to him i've got my motivation to blog which I had not have for this past few months. Before blabbering bout my life here in Japan, I want to thank Pei Chuen (PC) and Eric for organizing 2 different farewell parties for me, on the day I left for Japan and on the day before I left for Japan. For PC's side I want to thank Phui, Jia Hong, Kai, Kenny Yap, Mung Kit, Hong Chun, Jiann Yet, Chow Yang, Guan Shern, Yeong Shan and Pak Sun for celebrating my farewell party, although it got interrupted by my dad (AGAIN, as the night before, he interrupted my farewell party with Eric's group). Well here are some pictures

Theres plenty more, but a picture can say a thousand words right? Thinking of them never cease to make me smile. "haihz...with u gone now feel like missing a piece connecting us together.." - Phui said to me. It seems that now our usual group are split into 3~4 groups. I guess me leaving really did made a huge impact on our gang and the other hand, I miss them as well. Next is Eric's group, which is my college friends. The pictures seem to be missing (=/) but I will upload them when I can find it. Eric's group brought me to a place in Cheras where it was nice, as in a nice place for couples (lolz) and well yeah a nice place to think peacefully as its on a hill. So we went to eat steak, at that time, i've not touched steak for like ages and the steak tasted good (lolz) and halfway through, Trevor called to ask me whether I wanted to watch movie. I know he had no bad intentions but because of that, my farewell party got cut off halfway and by the looks of Eric, he looked very dissapointed which I felt really bad. Finally the people who see me off at the airport

Realize the picture that I took with my dad? Before reaching the airport I was telling myself to be strong, leave without tears, but it seems that when it was my turn to hug my dad, emotions tend to burst out. I guess at that time I was not fully prepared for that.

Thats for the whole farewell part, and as for my life now, I had been lost ,confused ,lonely and sad for the past 2 months. Lost as in i've lost my sight and purpose as to the reason why I came here. Confused as i've been easily taken into people's words seriously not being like my usual self. Lonely, as i've got no gang to go out with, people in my class seems to stay away from me except for some few number of people. Sad as in not being able to see my loved ones. Currently i'm having my summer break which is about to end this sunday. The day before yesterday, I was really lost, confused, lonely and sad until I intended to stop my studies here halfway. After chatting with my dad on that day about how I felt, my eyes opened again. I got back most of my motivation which I had lost a few months back, becoming more positive, I meant becoming more like the Daryl everyone knew back in Malaysia. This is my first time feeling very lost, I guess i'm still very weak mentally. I'd also want to thank Campos and Kindt, I really am glad that i've met them. Campos and Kindt are missionaries from a church in Kotesashi, Campos came from Brazil and Kindt came from Arizona, Phoenix, US. By knowing them i've met alot of nice people in the church. They gave me a bicycle, invited me for dinner, provide me transportation and helped me alot in many ways. Also i've been teaching English in this church as a volunteer for 2 months+ teaching conversational English. I've not taken any pictures of the people I teach but I will post it up here once I do. Oh and as for the girl that I posted in my earlier post, i've asked her out in the middle of May, she told me OK once her EJU exam is over which is on somewhere in June. But then after that exam over, she extended it to November. At first I said OK but then after getting to know her better, I realize that she isn't suitable for me, as from how I see, she doesn't seem to be the serious type and I somehow know that if I were to go out with her, I will feel disappointed. As to why I say so, 90% of the sms I send to her, it will not be replied, even though its free. Knowing myself, i'm a sensitive person, not replying for a day or so its alright as long as it is replied, but not replying at all, it shows that she don't have any interest. So after a week, I cancelled the date without telling her the reason. Actually its more like she ignored me rather than me not wanting to explain as i've tried to approached her many times and she ignores me. Aite, gotta go to bed already, its 4AM here in Japan and i've planned to go to Chinatown tommorow at 10am so gotta go to bed. Till then sayounara~!

"Ore, motto tsuyoku naritai... dou sureba ii?" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Vash and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 7: Nihon no seikatsu (Life in Japan)

2008-05-18T09:57:00.002+08:00

Today marks 1 month of me being here in Japan. I'm currently living in Tokorozawa, which is in the Saitama prefecture of Japan. My school is basically 1 hour away from here, calculating both the train and walking distance together. I found out that my school is very near to "Toudai" which is Tokyo University, the University that I intended to enter. Well... as for classes, i'm currently in D7 and my class is filled with different nationalities. An American chinese named Christopher Allan Loo, 2 Indonesians named Hansen and Sandy, 4 Koreans, 1 Hongky girl, 1 China girl and the other 9 are malaysians. The smartest guy in our class would be Hansen, and even though dad told me that I don't have to be the best in the class, as long as I pass it would make him happy, i'm not satisfied with just that. Hansen would be my goal in studies. As for now, my only entertainment is basketball, as I don't wanna spend my parent's money for my own entertainment. I've met a few nice/great people in my house which are very helpful. Firstly it'd be Yoshida Naoto-san, the first day I came to this guesthouse (Farman Tokorozawa), he helped me alot regarding the daily life here in Japan and also for the Alien registration card. He also lived in Seattle during high school for 4 years, and because of that, he can speak quite fluent english. Next is Nagai Yuko-san, she is a teacher teaching english in an all-girls high school in Kowagoe, she is a nice and helpful person as well, especially when translating from japanese to english when Naoto-san is not there, she would be the one who would be helping me, also, she loves drinking (lolz). Next is Kim Do A-chan, Do A-chan came from Korea but she doesn't look like one, as she could speak fluent japanese (unlike me) both she and sensei helped me to cook pongteh, and it was fun. Next is Kanno Yukie-san, she treats me like her younger brother and like a mother (lolz), she is understanding and a very kind person, she is doing web designing and comes back late (lolz). Next is Sai Ei Ko-san, basically she is from China, but had been staying here in Japan for 7 years now, me and Naoto-san agreed that she is lucky as her boyfriend casually comes over to this guesthouse all the way from Chiba (the prefecture that is directly opposite of Saitama prefecture), well she is funny and can be serious at times. Next is Fujin-san, hardly know her, other than she draws manga for an all-girls manga magazine. Next is Jhoanna Varenty-san, I hardly know her as well, but she is a nice person. And i've got to know Lee Su Ah-san yesterday, she is a Korean, but can speak Japanese and English as well. She gave both me and Naoto-san a shock yesterday when she spoke english, well not just normal english, she spoke with a British's accent. She told us that her accent is a little bit of a mix of both British and Canadian accent. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that everyone (except me) in this guesthouse can cook well (lolz). Also one more thing I forgot to mention, as Lionel asked me this question "So.... Did any chick confessed to you and said something like they don't want you to leave Malaysia?". Well the answer is no (lolz). Also i've made a video of myself in YouTube which I will post at the end of this post. Because of that video being passed around in my school, I am both famous and infamous. Famous because I had the courage of doing it, and infamous as they're buncha idiots who'd say that i'm not a Malaysian as I sing like a Japanese and tells me to f**k off and etc. As for why I did that video, its because i've always wanted to do things but didn't had the courage, but this time, ever since i've come to Japan, i've changed. Also the fact that I could only do this kind of things while i'm still young. Its also, because I love this song very much, it relates to my previous life. Also, heres an advice to Jiann Yet, "Move forward, even if you're loyal to her, its useless if she don't see you as the way you see her, go find someone else, someone who would appreciate you, not someone who don't, because at the end of the day when you guys get older, she will somehow realize your feelings, by then its already to late. Let it be a regret that she'll never forget". I've been through that crap longer than you did, and now that i've moved on, i'm feeling much more better. Aite gotta go and have my breakfast now~ till then sayounara

P.s: I've already set my eyes on a chick in my class, well if everything goes right, who knows what will happen? =p

"Mou hitori bocchi wa iyada!" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Vash and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 6.5: Saiyaku kimochi (The worst feeling ever)

2008-04-06T23:22:00.004+08:00

I've decided to finally update my blog since i've got my mood now, of all times to update. As i'm typing now, i'm with my usual gang, which are Hong Chun, Dan, Jiann Yet and Terry out here having our "yumcha" session at Station 1 Kuchai Lama (lolz). I'll start off with my Singapore trip on January. As soon as i've had my confirmation letter to study in Japan, I soon tried to fulfill all promises i've made with people. So far i've only failed to fulfill 1 promise, which I made with Angel a few years back. The promise was to meet each other, well, Angel is a Singaporean girl which I had met online. Returning back to the topic, it concluded that I was not able to meet her as she had a busy week and it seems I went on the wrong week. But in return, after not going to Singapore for years, I went along with Guan Shern, who never went to Singapore before. Stayed with Uncle Robin, and had the rough idea of how Singaporeans are. The interesting part of this trip was not how interesting Singapore is, but it was how Jasmine matured. Knowing Jasmine as she was young, she'll not talk to me as she doesn't speak good english, but during my stay there, she was quite talkative. She talked to me as if the barriers before never happened, which is a good thing, communicating with her is no longer a problem as i'd thought as it was before. The conclusion is that she turned out to be a fine young lady now. Also i've realized how Singapore's train system and Japan's train system are similar. They go almost everywhere in Singapore, also it shows how small Singapore is. The living standard there as well is quite equivalent as the pay there rather than the living standard here in Malaysia. Next would be that my grandma from my dad's side passed away. Normally during Chinese New Years, i'd definitely be the winner in any gambling game I played (not to brag but its the truth, even my cousins are afraid to gamble with me) but somehow this year I lost alot, and definitely its a bad sign. I felt something was wrong and my intuition was right, I got a call from Trish and Trev saying that grandma was hospitalized. The conclusion was that she did not make it and it was a shock for all of us as we did not expect Ah Ma to go off this early as amongst both our grandmas, she was the healthiest. Throughout the whole funeral, I can't seem to cry, Leonard (my cousin) on the other hand, questioned my love towards Ah Ma. He asked me a questions which was "Daryl.... You don't care about Ah Ma at all r?", at that time, he must've thought that I am the biggest jerk and the most useless grandson as I did not cry during the whole funeral session. But then I replied, "Its not that I don't care... Its just that I just can't cry even if I wanted to, also i'm sure Ah Ma would not want me to cry". I talked about this to both my dad and Aunt May, my dad said "Then he must be thinking that i'm a bigger ass than you are as I did not cry myself" whilst Aunt May said "Different people grieve differently", which I agreed on. Leonard told me that Ah Ma talked alot of good things about me in front of both he and Leon (Leonard's brother). Ah Ma left us with her belongings which were her rings, necklace and etc, which I did not really care much. What I wanted to know is what Ah Ma talked about me and I only know what Leonard told me, which was "Ah Ma said that you've matured alot" and also he told me that Ah Ma always compared them and me saying that i'm independent and etc which made me happy. Between all her grandchildrens, Leonard, Leon, and Cristabel (cousin sister) were the closest to Ah Ma. 2 weeks after her funeral, i've not went out with my friends. Reason? Simple, I wanted to spend more time with my family before I leave. 2 more weeks left, before I leave Malaysia and i'm already having confused feelings. In a way, i'm happy that i'll be pursuing what I wanted to pursue all my life, on the other hand, it is sad that i'll be leaving everyone I love here. Had been "room-hunting" online for quite sometime and I have problems of finding one, but I think I will somehow get one soon (I hope). This would most likely be my last post here in Malaysia, therefore I would want to thank a few people who've supported this "oobaka" (big idiot) in his life. Firstly, Li Yen, thank you for making me realize what i've wanted to do since I was kid. Things that I had long lost forgotten are remembered thanks to you and you really did play a big role in my life and are one of the most important people in my life, thank you. Next would be dad, I know you've been reading my blog lately and I want to thank you for supporting me for the whole time teaching me life's ups and downs, even though I DID took a wrong path before, now that you've regained back my trust, I WILL NOT FAIL your expectations and your "rules" are a really helpful guidelines in my life, which are "Do NOT join any gangsters", "Do NOT take drugs" and "Do NOT lie" (well although I still lie lolz) thank you. Next is mum, for always caring about me, cancelled her trip to Spain all because of my selfishness (I really still am feeling bad) just to study in Japan and also financing me when I needed the cash (lolz) thank you. Next would be Lionel, thank you for acknowledging me not only as a cousin, a friend and an adult. Last time you'd always asked me this question "You got your parent's permission to go out?" which somehow insulted me (lolz). Next is Trevor, thank you for teaching me what courage is, during the tournament, in our group you were the only one who volunteered to step up against that big guy. Even though you've lost, but your courage is well acknowledged by me also thank you for showing me what a useless brother I am (lolz). Next is Trisha, thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to I really appreciate having you to comfort me in times of need. But that does not make you smarter than I am (=p). Next is Dan, thank you for being one of my best friend even though you HAD been an ass (actually still is lolz) to me, you understood me best amongst the gang. Finally Rae, for posting about me in her blog! (lolz). To the rest, its not like you're not important, its just that this are the people that played a big role in my life and they're too many people to type down in this post therefore I decided on only major ones. Thanks for your support for this blog for 4 years. Till then, await Chapter 7 which will be my new life in Tokyo, Japan!

"Ima nara shindemo iinda"- Daryl a.k.a Vash, Wiegraf and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 6.4: Sekai Ichiban Suteki na koto (The world's most wonderful thing)

2007-12-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

Lately I had been hooked onto Aqua Timez's "Sen No Yoru wo Koete" which literally translates as "Overcoming 1000 nights". Well the reason to it is because this song actually syncs to my life, and the reason I think that most people like different kinds of songs is because some of it relates to their lifes and I DO think that telling someone that you love him/her is the most wonderful thing in the world, also the hardest thing to tell someone (well for me). Life lately had been abit more hectic than it was, there aren't any surveys lately and i'm running outta cash. Currently i'm working for P&G doing survey for them. Basically all I do is to check mini markets, convenience stores, chinese herbal shops and etc if they sell any shampoos or detergens. Overall, I think that this job is alright but quite boring and tiring, as this job is a solo job and i'm moving around all the time. The pay is quite alright but I think they need to increase on the petrol coverage, well i'm getting paid RM10 per hour, RM30 petrol coverage, tolls and parking fees are all covered. I didn't know that a prestigious company such as P&G is very stingy when it comes to pay, guess I can't have all my hopes so high. Currently I am very nervous thinking about going to study over in Japan. To be honest, I would be happy if I am confirmed going, but I had not stayed in a foreign place for more than 30 days, and whats more, alone. The confirmation letter will arrive in this coming January, hopefully. I don't get some people, they think that dreams are like some sort of an objective that can be easily achieved. To me, a dream is like a vision, something that takes Time+Effort+Determination to achieve and its a long term vision, something that can't be achieved by hours,days or months but years. Speaking of which, people don't seem to understand of the meaning love at all, they seem to say it easily. I know some people who just meet a person and he says he love her, or more like first at love sight. But unfortunately in reality, I don't think its that simple, anyone can just say "I love you" and yet don't meant it. I guess it annoys me when someone simply uses that word and yet don't meant it. Oh, and about the previous post, it seems that i'm wrong about Natasha, we basically went for a Hari Raya open house, not a Deepavali open house. It seems that Sabrina is still with her fiance, which is a huge relief for me. But thanks to Natasha, I was able to indirectly ask Sabrina whether she is still engaged or not. After that day, Sabrina seemed to sms me on odd hours like 2am in the morning (lolz). But some of the topics we chat about are quite interesting, and i'm glad that we're back contacting each other. I guess thats about it for this chapter, below is the translation for Aqua Timez's "Sen No Yoru wo Koete", I'm sure you'll like the song as well. Till then, sayounara~!

"Sekai ichiban suteki na koto... ka?" - Daryl (a.k.a) Vash, Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo

“Sen No Yoru wo Koete” (english Translation) - by Aqua Timez

I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt
Telling “I love you” to the person who I love

Do you love me? Or don't?
As for things like that, it’s already fine either way
No matter how I wish
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?
That’s right, and because the only the fact of me loving you
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone

Overcoming one thousand nights,
There’s something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s scary to turn my feelings into words
But I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

In this broad world, I can’t express the joy of encountering you with words
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone
On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I’d always have timid eyes
I want to face you, but I can’t be honest
I, on repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner
And hated being alone on that day
I kept on loving you without getting hurt

Overcoming one thousand nights, I am going to meet you now
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
Even if my feelings aren't returned,
Telling “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s the most wonderful thing in this world

Chapter 6.3: Mou kimetanda! (Its decided!)

2007-11-08T10:32:00.000+08:00

1 month after coming back from my Japan trip, I felt more stressful than ever. Trevor's been a friggin pain in the arse, studies are cramming and I contacted Sabrina back. Starting off with Trevor, he recently drove the Kancil illegally all the way to PJ and caused an accident. And THANKS to that, my dad started to scold me saying "You see? Its because you don't drive him out, this is what he does" blaming everything onto me. When I was at his age, whenever I were to go out with friends, I would take the public transport, so that I wouldn't trouble my parents. That's not the end of it, even after the accident, he sneaked out taking my dad's car out. Today, he calls my mum and bugged her to drive him out, so that he can meet with his friends. I drove all the way from KLIA to USJ to meet my sick grandma after sending my dad to the airport. Then because of his call, I am FORCED to go back home for his selfish request. So then I came back and yelled at him saying "If you're not gonna change your friggin childish attitude, DON'T call me your brother!". It is a fact that in my father's family history, that the younger brother will always be the troublemaker for the elder ones. Even if he has no money to go out by himself, then how the hell does he get the money to spend on ciggarettes? If he did not spend on the ciggarettes, he could already go out by himself and be MUCH MORE independent. I've decided that if it really comes to it, I WILL abandon him even if he IS my brother. I won't do the same mistakes that my dad and grandfather does. My uncle used to pull my dad's leg, causing him troubles and problems. As for me, I won't take this bullshit, even if its my brother. I don't want to end up like my father used to, struggled all because of his brother. Every friggin time i'm being blamed for his mistakes. I'm sick and tired of all this crap. Studies now are also pain in the butt.... especially Ms. Nally's presentation. Its alright having Franny and Siti, but then Amreed as my group member? Amreed is a lazy sikh who causes problems and always thinks that his perception is the right one. He already caused problem for Eric in the previous semester and this semester I am with him for 2 different groups including Mr. David's assignment. It is really stressful to do groupworks with him especially. Well the good thing is that I contacted Sabrina back, and am somehow happy about it. She seems to be doing well and she told me that her engagement failed, as for the reason, I didn't asked why as I think it surely is personal. Its nice to chat with her, but I wouldn't want to get too close with her. Even though I said that I would go for her, but if I were accepted to study in the Institute in Japan, I would be gone for quite sometime that is exactly why. To me, persuing my dreams is much more important than my love life for now. She somehow wants to see me and had been asking me out lately, but most of the time I rejected her offer because of that reason. But today, I will go out with her to one of her friend's open house for Deepavali celebration and she wants me to use 1 car as in just go with her car even though I said I will most probably have to go back early. As for now i'm just hoping she has no crazy thoughts as I would not want to hurt her feelings again. How I wish I AM still in Japan, this kind of problems would not occur to me. I miss Okaa-san's cooking, drinking with Otoo-san, teaching Chisako-san english, playing with Arito-kun and Sota-kun, and teaching Mikiko-san and Yuji-san "Chor Dai Di". But running away won't do any good, haveta accept the reality that i'm in. I'll get to know if i'm accepted in this coming December and if I am accepted, I will definitely change.

"I will not tolerate people who pulls me down" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo and Vash

Chapter 6.2.3: Maa... eeya (Bah.... its alright)

2007-10-27T18:42:00.000+08:00

Day 3~6
Basically there isn't anything much from day 3~6 as nothing is interesting other than I got to know a few high school girls in a train (lolz). Well it all started when I was in the train towards to Nakanojyo, to the shima onsen in the suburbs of Tokyo which is Nagano. I sat on the opposite of both Uncle Mike and Aunt Michelle, and got very bored till these group of 5 girls came into the train. They basically chatted, and I kinda listened to their conversation. While they were conversing, I had made eye contact with one of them and I overheard one of them talking about her homestay, she said that she went to Malaysia before for a homestay in Rembau and talking about her experience there. So then I was abit amazed myself, so then the conversation continued, until the train jerked abit and one of them hit onto my luggage, she then said "Gomenasai" and I replied "Daijoubu". Thats when they started to talk about me. One of them said "Ne, ano hito suki nandeshou?" (Hey, you like that guy don't you?), and another said, "Urusai!" (Shut up!). So then her friend told her this "Ne... ano hito ni hanasouyo" (Hey, why don't you talk with that guy?) she then said "Hazukashiiyo!" (Its embarrasing!). So then I smiled abit, then I started talking in english with Uncle Mike asking when is our stop. Then right after that the one who wanted to talk to me said "Aaaa yokkata, ano hito wa nihon-jin jya nainda" (Phiew! That guy isn't japanese), which also means that she felt relieved that she didn't talked to me as she thinks I can't speak japanese and it would've embarrased her to converse with me in japanese. So then I hit them with a question as I didn't had a watch and I asked them what time is it in japanese, they were all shocked, like they've seen a ghost or something (lolz, their expression was hilarious xD). So then one of them quickly took out her phone and told me the time saying "Ano... eto.... ima wa goji-han desu" (Erm... umph.... its 5.30) nervously. So then I replied "Arigatou", she then said "Aaa iie daijoubu desu" (you should see the expression on their face and how nervous they were when I spoke japanese). Then they started to whisper to each other, the one that wanted to talk to me said "Uso! Saki no hanashi kiitanda? Hazukashiiyo" (Crap! He understood what we said earlier? This is embarrasing). So then 5 minutes later, one of them dared herself to talk to me and from that moment on, we started talking and I had fun talking with them. They were somehow amazed that I knew alot of anime and also that I can speak japanese. So one of them said that she visited Malaysia before and I acted as if I didn't heard that before as I feel that it was kinda rude. So she introduced herself in Malay saying "Nama saya Hitomi" (My name is Hitomi). So I was kinda surprised and said "Waaa~ sugoi!" (Wow! Amazing!). Then we chatted and chatted till its time for us to go our different stops. I then said sayounara to them and after that, the whole night I regretted not giving them my contact. So the next day when we went back to the Tokyo, right after that, I told Uncle Mike that I wanna go somewhere. So I went back all the way back to Nagano, yeap... a long 3 hours ride and then purposely met them again. I lied to them saying that I got separated from my cousins and uncles. So then I asked them to show me the way back to the Inn. We then chatted abit and before leaving this time, I gave them my contact that I had prepared while I was in the bullet train to Nagano. Right after I went down the stop, I went to the other side and took another 3 hour ride back to Tokyo. Well... until today, I had no news from them at all. But what was important is that, I did what I wanted to do, at least I will have no regrets till today. Aite thats about it for my trip! Next post will be the continuation of my current life now.

"Regret the things you didn't do rather than regret the things you did" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Vash and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 6.2.2: Ano toki kaeritai na... (I wanna go back to that time...)

2007-07-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

Continueing from the previous post~

Day 2
I got up quite early and head off to the train station from Nanba to Kyoto. Took the shinkansen named "Asama" (if i'm not mistaken) from Osaka to Kyoto. The ride took about an hour to get to Kyoto and to my surprise, Kyoto isn't as what I pictured it would be. As to my knowledge, Kyoto is supposed to be a place filled with traditional japanese houses, not a city. But I guess, we can't assume things and things DO change in time. We got ourselves checked into the Kyoto Royal Hotel and Spa. As for today's accomodation, I got a room all to myself for 8,000 yen a night. Basically I can't say much about Kyoto as I slept most of my time there. But while I was in Kyoto, I bought some charms and in the end lost it (~.~). I thought that'll be the first and last place i'd be careless. Basically all I did there was window-shopping at the long streets in Kyoto (forgot the street's name). Then after that I head towards the hotel back alone and slept from 7pm till the next morning. I got up early the next morning at around 7am and went out alone to have my breakfast. Well the whole day started up alright till I went into the restaurant. Theres these 3 japanese punks, who came in and kinda screw the day up. It all went well until my food came. I wanted to show my friends the food served there so I decided to take out my camera and catch a pic of the food. But then I had problems taking it as my camera doesn't seem to work close range. Then this punk started shouting facing towards me saying "Kora, nani attenda!? Nani o tottenda!? Kimochi waruizo, sasato kiero!" a rough translation to what he said is "Hey, what the hell are you doing? What the hell are you taking picture of? I'm disgusted, get out of my sight!". Truth to be said, I was a bit scared as I was alone and god knows what those 3 could've done to me. So then I kept my camera into my bag and acted calm as though nothing happened. The waiter there was begging those 3 guys not to make trouble in the shop and then he came towards me and told me sorry. Then after when they left, the waiter came to my table and said "Okyaku-san sumimasen!" translate as "Dear guest, i'm sorry!" then I told him that its ok and do not worry about it. Then later on I went back to the hotel and discovered "Pay TV" (lolz). All you need to do is put in a card that you can purchase nearby the elevator for 1,000 yen and you can have excess for a limited time to their adult channel and movie channel (xD). I didn't pay for it but somehow they got previews (lolz). Then at about 3pm, we left from Kyoto, headed towards to Tokyo. At Tokyo, the hotel that we stayed is called Continental Hotel (and yes... another painful 4~5 star hotel which cost me about 6,000 yen a night sharing a room with my uncle and auntie). So then once we were there, we went to Ginza and Shibuya, looking for Uncle Mike's fishing stuff. While we were in Shibuya, I somehow passed by some superstars. How'd I know? Theres this camera guys from some television company and on the other side of the bridge were lots of japanese school girls shouting from the other side to my side. I didn't know what was going on but then I got the pics of those chicks that was famous there (though I don't know who they are xD). Uncle Mike got his reel and then we later on had dinner. After dinner, we headed towards Akihabara (also known as Akiba). Akiba is called as an "Electrical City" as the whole of that town is filled with lights and Akiba is also well known for their Anime, Manga, Cosplays and AVs (lolz). During that time as I went, the anime shop was promoting "Lucky Star", one of the latest anime they had in Japan. Their stores had about 8 floors including the basement one. The first floor which is the entrance to the shop, is filled with animes, the basement floor is filled with anime hentais, as for the 2nd floor and above, its all AVs softcore, hardcore, all kinds of porn, you name it they got it (lolz). Then later on we head back to the hotel and before getting back to the hotel, there's this small stall where this stall's specialty is Green Curry Ramen. He got this idea from Thailand as Thai people eats Green Curry. Unfortunately at that time most of us were full and Uncle Mike bought the whole lot of chicken wings. So then there were two men there drinking and eating, saying in english that the food there is great. As the rest were eating, those two men spoke to me and ask me stuffs like where I come from and etc. So then later on they asked me a question, "Why come to Japan? Other than the fact that you're travelling" I then told them in Japanese "Nihon wa boku no yume nandakara!" translates as "Because Japan is my dream!". They startled awhile and then smiled. At that time, I thought that it was cool saying it (^^). Then we got back to the hotel and had a rest

Chapter 6.2.1: Nihon wa Boku no Yume Nandakara! (Because Japan is my dream!)

2007-06-23T14:33:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to be going well nowadays, my dream had already been fulfilled, mum getting transferred to another section of her job on july which is good as she wants a transfer as she hates her current boss, my dad is running his business together with my granduncle basically a travel agency, results from my previous semester had good results and if everything goes right, I might be able to go to Japan this September again. I'll start off with my trip in Japan, well at first I was not able to go as my mum didn't agree on it. Then I thought to myself, people who succeed always tries, and then I told myself "Don't just say it, DO IT!" so then I went to bug her again about it till she then agrees (thanks mum!). And so I was busy preparing for my trip, also had a brief discussion with aunt Michelle as we're going there together but from different places as aunt Michelle will be coming from Australia. We basically had a lot of discussion as we're new to Japan and we're not sure as to where to go. After done preparing, went through the japanese embassy of malaysia, renewed my passport, I finally am able to go to Japan. Dad, mum and Trish accompanied me throughout the wait for my flight. Then when the time came, I told em goodbye and told em to take care, but then as I walked down the escalator, I then shouted to my mum, "Thanks mi, I really appreciate what you're doing for me, also Di don't push yourself to hard or you'll end up breaking another bone of yours again". And waved at them as I was headed towards the immigration site. Then after going through the immigration, I sent to my mum an sms saying "Thanks alot, I really appreciate it, its been my dream to go to Japan and thanks to you its no longer a dream, I love you, tell Dad don't push himself too hard, if he needs help, ask, as he is no longer young and tell him I love him too. As for Trisha, tell her thanks for accompanying me, appreciate it" well.... thats roughly what I remembered what I sent (xD). I wanted to put into the sms telling Trisha not to skip too much classes, but then I didn't as I don't want my parents to worry too much for Trisha. My flight was a connection flight and trust me... the most boring parts of the trip IS the flight, as it IS boring and you're restricted to certain activities, especially if you're alone but thanks to their radio stations, I got hooked up to some new japanese songs (XD). So before getting to Japan, I will haveta stop by Hong Kong and wait for 2 hours+ for my connecting flight. So as I was unsure of what I should do there, I got myself a Starbucks coffee that cost me RM18+ (@.@) and found myself a free internet usage at a small booth in the airport. Thank god Jiann Yet and Yuen was there to accompany me as I was DEADLY bored. Oh yeah that reminds me, Hong Chun told me to buy him back some sex toys when I come back as I asked them what they want from Japan. So then I told him "NO WAY! I don't want to end up in jail for this". So then Jiann Yet was asking me to get him 1 too (~.~). We had a lil conversation that at least, cuts the waiting time, and had a lil laughter. Then it was time to leave, I told em thanks and went for my flight.

Day 1
Once I reached Osaka, it was 10 minutes earlier than scheduled, I thought that its good as aunt Michelle wouldn't need to wait for me so long, as their flight reaches at 8:20pm and my flight reaches at 9pm. To my surprise, I met them at the immigration site, and thanks to that, I get to skip a few people ahead of me (xD). So uncle Mike was saying "Daryl! You actually made it here, I thought you would not be able to join us", I then replied "Yeah to be honest I myself thought I wouldn't be able to be here today". So then he asked, "So... what did Trevor and Trisha said about it? Did they envy you?" actually, before my flight, Trisha and Trevor did told me some stuff that sounds jealous like Trish said "Daryl, you're very lucky you know that?" and Trevor starts saying "Now you cannot say that mum spoils me the most! You get to go to Japan". I do agree with them, but as just for this, I want to be selfish... I know its sad... but thats how I feel. Maybe its because i'm very close to my mum ever since I knew that she can go anytime and been taking care of her ever since. So I then replied to uncle Mike and told him "Yes they did say some stuff but they didn't show any negative attitudes towards it". After passing the immigration, before we're able to get off the airport, we go some luggage check, so this guy was checking my luggage and asking me in a very funny accent of english, so then I spoke in Japanese and he had a shock and started asking me questions. Well I had some problems saying some stuffs but I tried explaining it in english and somehow he understood. So then he was asking me lots of questions as if I were a criminal or something. After that uncle Mike told me that I shouldn't had spoke with him in Japanese which I somehow agreed as I find it troublesome. We asked around for the Ramada hotel, and waited for the bus. As we reached to the hotel, the receptionist was a guy who can understand and speaks english, but somehow his accent sounds homo (xD i know i'm evil) but he was helpful enough though, he told us we ARE definitely in Ramada hotel, but its the wrong Ramada hotel, the one that we're supposed to go is to Shin Osaka's Ramada hotel that is located in Nanba. And he told us to get there, theres 2 ways, one is by cab that would cost us 10,000 yen or train that will cost us around 300 yen. At first Gable was not so happy and feel abit frustrated as his face shows it all, so then he said "Lets just get a cab!". I was abit scared as i've brought only 70,000 yen and I don't want to spend 10,000 yen on cab (@.@). As the time we're there, its about 11.10pm, the receptionist guy told me in japanese that we could make it in time for the train if we rush there now. So then we decided to rush to the Midosuji line to get the train. Along the way towards the station, I brought em to the wrong way as I read the map wrongly (~.~). But somehow we're able to get to the station and get to Nanba. Then once we reached Nanba, I asked the cabs around if they knew where the Ramada Osaka hotel is, but had a hard time finding one till I met this young, geeky cab driver. He was so kind as to take the effort to call his contacts and looked through his GPS and maps. At first he said try asking the cab behind but then later he then said he roughly know where it is. Luckily thanks to him, we're not lost and his first attempt was a success, we reached there, exhausted. I am in fact surprised that the fact that Japan's taxi drivers are all well dressed. In Malaysia, you can sometimes see cabs with just singlets, but in Japan, their taxi drivers are like some businessman by the way they dress. We checked into the hotel, and then head to our rooms. About 10 mins after that, we went out to get ourselve stuffed, as we're all so beat and hungry. We had a nice supper as the food there was nice and cheap (but the portion was a lil). Then back to the hotel, we went straight to the toilet to have a sight of their toilet, as from what we heard, their toilet technology is very good (xD). And then later had a rest for the big day.

This is roughly what happened on the first day, and I will continue the rest on Chapter 6.2.2 and so on, till then look forward to it ya!? Sayounara!

"I CAN speak japanese, but not fluently and yes I do have problems with some of the words that I might not understand" - Daryl (a.k.a) Vash, Urameshi Kiddo, Wiegraf

Chapter 6.1: Tokidoki... (Sometimes...)

2007-01-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

At this moment as i'm typing this post, i'm kinda angry at my dad. As to the reason why? Lately i've not gone for classes almost once every week. There IS a reason behind it. Quite recent early last year, i've decided not to take anymore drugs, as in medicine drugs (panadol, cough mixture etc.) So i've been sick these past few weeks lately and now i'm feeling better as i've only got cold. So then he called me out of my room and had a talk with me, he told me "If you are not interested in continueing your course, then just stop it as we don't need to waste our money and time on it. You know that recently i've got no flights and with no flights, theres no income for me. Your mum now with her condition, she can't do her sales well. I owe Citibank RM20k and i've got problems finding ways to pay off this debt. We're very tight now". He thinks I don't know about this stuff and thinks that i'm not understanding enough. IF I don't understand, i'd be asking him for money to go out and enjoy myself. I am aware enough of this and i'm trying to lessen their burdens whenever I need money i'd use my own saving so pay for some of my daily needs especially food. RM15 a day in KL can't cover up for my breakfast AND lunch, I always try and spend less than RM15 a day during college a day but then it doesn't fill up my stomach. RM5 will be gone as it will be spent for my transport and RM10 is for both my breakfast and lunch. Even though i've to go through this everytime I go to college, i'd never ask my parents as I know their situation. And its not like I don't have any interest in studying, its just that i'm not feeling well thats why i'm not going for college as often as I could. I'm not even mad at him when he turned down my skin consultant's offer for my face treatment to make it better as I know he can't afford it. Because to me the most important thing to achieve now is my dream, not my face's problem. Bah! Enough of family problems, next is just recently i've been into this small youth group under a church called "Bread Of Life" and this youth group is called as "Real Youths". I somehow believe in Jesus and God now although i'm not religious as others are or as passionate to them as they do towards them. Finally last wednesday was Hong Chun's birthday, so Dan planned to buy a cake for him. He called me and I agreed to pay some as I wanted to chip in something for his birthday. But then later on Dan told me that Pak Sun was going and also Pak Sun's name is on the cake as his birthday is near to Hong Chun's. As to who this Pak Sun is, he is a feminine, yeap FEMININE, always acts like hes smart (when he is not) and also a party spoiler guy. Truth to be said, I HATE him, yeap I do. So then Dan told me "Don't be like that ler he is also friend" then I replied "Friend? Since WHEN I said he is my friend?". Then I said "Bah! Anything la~~". Later on, once when we went to Mid Valley to watch Death Note 2, I told Dan that i'm not gonna chip out for the cake. As I don't feel sincere, and this time i'm gonna be truthful to myself. Don't feel sincere as in i've agreed to chip in for the cake as its for Hong Chun, but not Pak Sun, and I don't like giving people presents not being sincere. I'm just hoping for now that my family's problem can be solved also to hope that they'll be earning more and be able to pay that RM20k debt. Just one more thing i've got to testify is that I am now a Christian. Aite thats about it, may everything goes to God's will, till then sayounara~!

"Ore no kakubou wa tsuyoi nandakara!" - Daryl (a.k.a) Vash, Urameshi Kiddo and Wiegraf

Chapter 6: Ore no yume matterunda! (My dreams are waiting for me!)

2006-12-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

After enduring all the pain and embarrasment for the past 3 years of having ACNE, i'm starting to get treatments and somehow I felt even better than before after getting my first treatment yesterday. Although it cost quite alot, but I can feel the difference of my face, and for the first time today in 3 years, I had no breakouts when I wake up this morning, which somehow made me feel so darn happy. Eventually my dreams I had ever since I was a kid is about to be a reality very soon as at April 2007 i'll be heading to Japan for about 1~2 weeks. The planning is that the first week would be a homestay programme whilst the 2nd week would be a free and easy where me, Eric, Chucky and Yuen would be staying together. Well that would also depends on our budgets as Japanese currency is not cheap. Even though thats the good news, I also have bad news as I somehow failed my accounts again, which sucked. Now i'm having my LAN subjects which consists of Malaysian Studies, Bahasa Kebangsaan and also Moral. Amongst the 3 of them, i'm more worried of Malaysian Studies as I HATE my country's history, its full of "ISLAM this ISLAM that". I kinda hate it as this country is a multicultural country and it SHOULD be having other history about other races rather than just PLAIN OLD BORING ISLAM. Bah, other than that recently a girl somewhere around my age sat beside me in the public bus and somehow the seat where I was sitting has water dripping from the air-cond above me. So while I was revising my notes, she suddenly hold my hand which somehow surprised me (lolz). I meant wouldn't you be surprised if someone that you don't know just suddenly hold your hand? Well being shocked as I was while staring at her hand holding onto mine, she then quickly moved her hand away and shyly said "Umph theres water dripping onto your notes". I then replied "Oh... Its alrite". Then later on I said "By the way, thanks for being concerned" and we had a small conversation talking about the course we're doing and the college we're studying. She was alrite but well unfortunately I wasn't able to get her name and her contact number (lolz) but at least I know where I can find her (=P). Also it seems like this year's Genting Trip will be on! Although this year we don't plan on going to the theme park as it already started to get boring. Besides, most of the fun we had was in the apartment and this time we're gonna make it more interesting than last year... (I hope) . Also somehow in the class now, everybody seems to had make my existence there to be very important as whenever theres something up, they'll say "If Daryl goes, I go!". Which in a way made me kinda happy (lolz). Everything seems to be going great these days, hopefully it'll continue the way they are. Till then sayounara~!

"Ore no yume yori ore no mirai motto taisetsuna koto da!" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Vash, and Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 5.5: Korede ii ka na...? (Is it alright as it is...?)

2006-10-25T01:28:00.001+08:00

Recently my collegemates had been quite open-minded people, it even got to my lecturers (lolz). Well it started when we had break from our econs class, when I head over to Chucky, Dave and Lyn. So then they started a topic somehow, asking when they lose their virginity. Dave started off saying that he lost his virginity at 20 whilst Chucky at 17, and when Chucky said "Losing it at 20 is alright, but above that is not alright". I was speechless as they brought up this topic, although I wanted to walk away from it but... I was kinda stucked (lolz). So when it came to me, Dave said "I think all of us here are not virgins except for some people in our class" then I told him "Eerrr.... No, i'm a virgin". Although they say I don't look like it but then when I told them things like "Look at me, who'd want such a guy with no looks and not rich??". At that time, I wondered, is losing virginity around that age gap is practised amongst youths these days? I guess its a dumb question, maybe its because the way I think is different (lolz). Then they kept quiet (lolz). I thought that was the end of it, then a few days later, suddenly our econs lecturer started to ask everyone of us whether we're single or not. Sadly when it comes to my turn, everyone was saying "Daryl surely have one!". They went silent when I said that I don't and told them "With my looks, who wants?" they went quiet. This week is a holiday, in a way its a study week, because next week is already my finals for my semester 2. Final Fantasy series now had totally changed (=/) in a way where not much of us like the new battle system, and also the new summons. They totally changed the whole system, summons like Ifrit, Shiva, Alexander and more, are now basically just an airship's name which I think that it sucks. They should continue to use the names as their fans are already used to those basic summons and the most famous ones to remember amongst the fans. Ah well, the final fantasy series started to suck when Enix came along, Squaresoft was already doing great, why'd they want to merge with such a crappy background company such as Enix? (~.~) Now with Nobuo Uematsu (who was always in charge of the music in the throughout the Final Fantasy series, FF5~10-2 out of the Final Fantasy series) gone, their music also somehow sucked. This reminds me, these are the random questions that had been asked about me:

1. What is the dumbest thing you've ever said to your friend?
If you're a girl, i'll surely go for you (XD)

2. Have you ever had any anime/fantasy characters that you liked?
Yeah, Aeris Gainsborough (XD)

3. Are you single?
Sadly.... yeap

4. If you are single, what kind of qualities do you look for?
A person who knows how to cook, do daily house chores, nice, kind, cute and understanding
Note: To you know who you are, I DON'T LOOK AT GIRLS FOR THEIR BREASTS OR THEIR BODIES! Ahem....

5. If you're given a chance to change any part of your body, what will you change?
My face

6. What kind of music do you like?
Sentimental ones, it helps me to calm down

7. If you are to in anime that you could act in, which anime would you act in?
CHOBITS! My darling Chii~~~ (XD)

8. What are the words you find hard to express?
Sorry, Love and Hate

This questions were some random ones which I took from a questionaire book (lolz). Aite I guess this is it, till then sayounara~!

"I'm looking for that someone who will be giving me commitments, not a slut that wants me for a 1 night stand or something like that" - Daryl (a.k.a) Vash, Urameshi Kiddo and Wiegraf

Chapter 5.4: Sorega bokuda!!!! ...to omou... (Thats me!!!... I think...)

2006-10-11T17:15:00.000+08:00

Most of the people around me especially my college mates, they like to say "Daryl, your life is so easy and you don't really have problems with your studies" or some even call me an egoist. Even though I always act tough and cold towards some people, they do not know how fragile I am. Even though I have friends and my family, I somehow still feel lonely. They do not know what i've been through. The truth is that I act tough is because I don't want others to look down on me, "have no problems in studies"...huh? Actually I HATE studying, all I ever did was just play the computer 24/7 and i'm not born smart or something like that, but I don't want to lose out thats why. Some of them even call me a rich person, which I actually am not, now even as I am typing this post down, my dad is kinda struggling. He is always at home, playing solitaire, acting as if he has no problems. But I do know the fact that he didn't seem to get any tours recently and he always is awake thinking how to earn money to support the family. Some of the money that I have is the money I had been working for and that money won't last long. I wanted to study in Japan, but my family had no financial backup for that. I'm currently continueing my studies is because of my dad... So far all i've been doing is listening and understanding my friend's life and their struggles but they don't seem to be listening and understanding mine. Most of them don't seem to see that, but some do. All I wanted is for someone to share with my dreams, sadness, happiness, everything. Unfortunately I don't seem to have this someone to share those things. I guess that is why whenever people asks me "Why do you like japanese stuffs so much?" I always give them the same answer which is "I feel more at home with them". Even the simplest thing I did for some friends, they'd never realised or even thanked me for the things that I had done for that people. Sometimes I wonder why'd I do so much for others while they don't seem to appreciate the things I do? Why'd I trouble myself so much just to satisfy them and yet not satisfying myself? Will I just die without them noticing the things I had done for them? Someone once told me, "Daryl, you're a person that is 1 in a million, you're kind, you take the trouble over others and also you're honest and loyal". She knew me well and knew the things I did as we were in the same school. In a way she is also a 1 in a million person to understand me and the things I actually did. A few years after that, we went our different paths even though we're still having each other's number, we hardly contact. I guess to find another person who understands and knows the things another did is... very hard... Life in college has been tough lately and life itself had been harsh lately too. I don't know why, even though I lost my will to go on, something is pushing me. Something tells me that something good will happen sooner or later. I guess this is it, till then, sayounara~!

"I don't believe that suiciding is the way to escape things, but I believe that by living, you could overcome all the odds, as long as you have the will" - Daryl (a.k.a) Vash, Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo

Chapter 5.3: Sonna jinsei ga ii no? (Is that kind of life alright?)

2006-09-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

Recently, i've realised that my dad had some changes. I noticed it when I was using his computer in his room when he was still sleeping. In a way, he looked like a small kid but the sad part is that I realised that he look old.... as in OLD. I've so far didn't posted anything about my dad before, so I thought it'd be nice to post it now. Well we'll start from when he was young (XD my dad had never told me about his past until recently). My dad came from one of the most powerful families in Klang. Amongst the families that I remembered, my dad told me that the Yeoh, Lim, Ng, Lee and many more are so powerful, that during his childhood, even the police wouldn't dare to touch any of them without asking permission from the head family. How did my dad's family earned that much power? Well it all started from my great grandpa, which is my father's grandfather. He was the most kindest person in Klang where, whenever he sees a poor person without a cloth or something like that, he'll bring that person into the car, send that person to a hospital and then buy for him clothes and give him some money to survive on the streets. Basically he was famous because of him doing so many charity work... At this part, this is where I kinda respected my great grandpa. But even though he is kind to the community, he has never give a single cent to any of his childrens, this is where I disrespect him. As for my grandfather, he earned his power by stopping a major gang fight in Klang where the malays wanted to bring out a war with the chinese in Klang, even now, that chinese gang still exists here in KL as I know, they're called as "Sap pat" (18 in cantonese). He became a representative for that gang to have a negotiation to bring peace in Klang. Also my grandpa was one of the top 10 mens in Malaysia for selling rubber (if im not mistaken). Likewise, this is the part where I respected my grandpa. But like father and son, they both neglected their children. My grandpa separated with my grandma, and is now living with my step grandma. The way I see it, he only thinks about that step grandma more than his family, and recently after coming down to Malaysia, I kinda dislike him. Just because he left home for 3 weeks, he said he missed his wife and blablabla. Then I thought "WHAT ARE WE TO YOU THEN!!!!??? ARE WE NOT YOUR FAMILY!!!!???". During his birthday dinner that we had after he saying that he had left and missed his wife, I told him "Family is important to me". Then to my surprise, almost everyone was looking at me, auntie Paris said "Yeah! He is right". My dad even told me how awful the beatings he get when he was young from my grandpa, strip in front of the public in school, and then wack him with a cane. I can imagine the embarrasment... What kind of father is that? Sometimes I wondered, why my dad still calls him "Dad" after all those things he does to him, I guess I wouldn't know till I be one. My grandpa even forced my dad to marry my step auntie and he had not acknowledged me, Trevor and Trisha as his grandchildren as he disliked my mum and had not approved my father's marriage with my mum. But then the price they had to pay was to lose their wealth and fame. My dad said that the downfall for his family was because firstly, his father and his grandpa had never trusted their own sons, and also its because of their younger brothers. This is where my dad is afraid of. He said 2 generations in his family tree had been repeating because of their younger brothers, the older one had suffered. I do know that Trevor lacks attention and he wants the attention. That is why, whenever I go out with my friends, I don't want to bring him because I know their reactions. This is through observation, I realised that Guan Shern and Dan don't really like my brother around because of his childishness and sometimes lame. To me, I think they had not experienced nor seen how much he struggled throughout his life just to get acknowledged. I had been there before.... I knew how lonely it was, and how hungry you get just for attention. Whenever I think about my brother's situation, I somehow tend to cry... even though he is slow at thinking also can be lame and childish at times, I do know that those are the only time when he could actually be himself. Thats why I don't really want him to come along as I don't want him to feel unwanted with them there. His situation is exactly like Naruto in the beggining, he had no friends and no one to acknowledge him. Also I do know that he respects me alot because of my achievements in life so far, even though i'm always cold towards him. I gotta admit, he worries me more than Trisha. So far my life is rough nowadays, tonnes of homeworks and assignments. Got to know about her more. Been planning on my Japan trip this coming April with my college mates. I think that a homestay will be the best option. Me and Eric Leong had agreed that we both wanted to stay in an open hot spring resort (XD all guys are perverts =P). College is fun but at the same time stressful also I somehow admired the voice acting of Suou Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, the voice actor's voice is so unique. One last thing, I wanna prove to Nigel that i'm different, so far the animes that made me cry is Naruto and I"s Pure (=P). Aite I think thats about it look forward for the next post~~~ Till then sayounara~~!!

P.s: This quote written below is said when Trevor was rushed to the hospital in school Year 2005, I was in tears =/

"Trevor, I want you to promise me one thing, don't die on me....." - Daryl (a.k.a ) Vash, Urameshi Kiddo and Wiegraf

Chapter 5.2: Ano kurushii kimochi... wakaruyo... (Than painful feeling... I know how it feels...)

2006-08-21T01:20:00.000+08:00

Everything has progressed as normal.... go to college, come back from college, do account's homework, play blueserver then sleep. Well this chapter's main purpose isn't talking about me though... well just a few days back, someone who I don't think that will come back, came back to my life. I won't tell who it is, because I want to respect her privacy too. Well it all started when I was watching anime (as usual), then out of a sudden, I received a message from her in msn, saying that she changed her handphone number. So then I replied to her and chat abit till I realised that most of the replies had something familiar about it. She then started to ask about my life, whether I have any special girlfriends and etc. Then it came to me that somehow... she still has feelings for me. So I asked her to answer me honestly... and she answered yes, that she still has feelings for me. Clearing that doubt of mine, she then wants my answer... but I couldn't give her the answer... due to some complications that we both have... So I told her that due to the complications that we had, I don't want her to torture herself because of this, so I told her that its better that we don't be together. Unexpectedly... she said that she'd wait for me, in a way, I was kinda happy because no one has ever said or even want to wait for such a jerk that I already am. But still I told her not to, because... I knew how it felt... Because I once did that, and all I did was just torturing myself. At that time, I was always worried. Worried whether she'll talk to me, worried that she has a special boyfriend and worried that if I were to confess again, I'd get rejected or not. Basically that was the worries I had... and I do know well those feelings... It hurts so much... But still, she wants to wait for me... It almost seemed like she is determined to go through whatever it takes just to be with me... at this point... I felt like a bastard. So then almost everyday i'd sms her to check how she is doing instead of doing things the way I used to, which is to ignore that person, block her contact and so on... but I didn't... because I do know that if I were to do that, it'll hurt her more. Its almost like we're both in 2 different worlds but we want to be together... In fact I do have feelings for her, but its for her own good due to our complications. I told her "What if while you're waiting, I already have someone else later?" she then replied, "I'm fine with it, just as long as you tell me that you're with that someone rather than dragging me along without me knowing". At this point... I felt like killing myself (lolz). Even so, i'm trying to understand her more day by day by smsing her. To get to know her better in a way. Also just to make some things clear its NOT Jess, i'll never even talk to such a slut. Her birthday is coming soon and I WANT to get for her something... but i'm soooo broke that I can't get her a birthday gift which makes me feel soooo darn bad (~.~). Aite this is about it, this post had nothing much to it though, well till then sayounara~~!!

"Why is life so cruel to us?" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo and Vash

Chapter 5.1: Taisetsuna nakama... ka? (Treasured friend... huh?)

2006-08-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

It's been quite sometime since I last saw PC (Pei Chuen) till recently her birthday when she celebrated it. We kinda promised to meet each other again and finally met after 7 months. Her birthday party was better than last year and has much more people. Adrian (Ngeok Hong), Tee Yoong, Choo Yang, Chea Hwey, Chea Teng, Hong, Wayne and many more were there celebrating her birthday (don't really remember the names of the others). Amongst all of the girlfriends that I have in school, I'm more closer to her than anyone else and she is the MOST richest girlfriend I have (XD). Well she lives in Country Heights, which is said to be where all the rich people lives and after being there 4 times already, I knew why. The houses there are all like... houses you'd dream of. And her house is huge... even though she is rich, she's quite humble and has never bragged about her family's wealth. Well we started off playing "Chor Tai Tee", another version of poker, the chinese style. Then a few hours later, we started off barbequeing. Then this is the part where I realised how much PC thought of me. Tee Yoong started talking about DotA and we decided to leave the place early and head over to SS2 to have a match of DotA. So with his idea, and which involved me, Hong and him wanted to leave early. She then got upset over it. At first I was saying to myself "Huh? Why is she so upset over it? I meant we DID came to her party, we DID give her a present.... Then what is she so upset about?". Wayne later on told us that he'll try and convince her to let us go. Then later on Tee Yoong started to ask us to dare him, to see if he can float using 2 of the baby floats from one side to the other side of the pool of PC's house for an hour in an internet cafe. So I said "Alright! You're on!". Knowing that it is impossible for those baby floats to float, we knew that he is gonna fall into the pool. Then later on, PC came along with Wayne to watch what was going on and then we waited and waited and waited, but still no progress from Tee Yoong as he still didn't get himself on the float and float in the pool. Wayne then went near him as he was trying to get into the pool with float and pushed him in (XD ROFLMAO!). Then it made her happy and she came up with a..... "Bright" idea (~.~). She said that if we were to leave, we have to get wet into the pool, being KICKED by her (lolz). I'll kinda fast forward this part as it is a long story, so me, Hong and Tee Yoong were in the pool, I was the only one who got kicked by PC and I carried and did an F-U onto Hong tossing him into the pool. And in the end after leaving without eating the cake, I just realised that PC was mad because, she wants us to be there with her until the party ends as by the way she reacts to us when we wanted to go for SS2, I guess its because she thinks of us as an important friend thats why she reacted that way. And also in the end, we ended up not going anywhere and went back home. Oh yeah, we bought for her a cute lil handbag which we found at "Teddy Tales" also, she is STILL with Wayne. That shows how lucky they both are.... to find each other like soul mates.... the only thing I envy them is because of this.... Wayne has been with PC for almost... 3~5 years (i'm not sure as i'm not a busybody) and the thing about them is that, they're both loyal to each other. I guess it IS kinda hard to find people loyal to one another of the opposite sex. Well just yesterday before watching "The Break-Up" with Dan, Jiann Yet, Hong Chun, Guan Shern and Terry, we went to have a small bite at "All Stars". At that time, it was only me, Dan and Jiann Yet who went and have a drink there. So then I saw Kak Ina, Kak Fizah, Kak Puteri, Simon and Mr. Ricky (manager). To cut it short, Kak Ina was so nice to had cut my drink, French Fries, Hash Browns and Nachos off the receipt. And the overall price we eat there was just RM11.50 which only includes the drinks that Dan and Jiann Yet drink. I thank god as I had not enough cash and so happen Kak Ina close an eye as this is my first time eating there after quitting there. Hong Chun, Terry and Guan Shern didn't get to enjoy the food we ate for free (XD) and Hong Chun was kinda pissed because of that. My birthday is coming soon and I wonder whether it'd be a nice birthday as I had not been kinda pleased with my previous birthdays. I want to celebrate my birthday but.... I'm kinda broke.... and celebrating it will cost me hundreds of ringgits.... Most probably this year will be as last year's birthday.... A quiet birthday celebrated by myself (~.~ sad eh?). Alright I think thats it for now, sayounara~~!

"I believe that someday... I will find you... and I hope on that day, you'd be the best present i'll ever have for my birthday" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Kiddo and Vash

Chapter 5: Yume...ka? (Dreams....?)

2006-07-31T14:18:00.000+08:00

Its been almost 3 months since I last updated, a lot has happened and I didn't have the motivation to update this blog until today. But in that 3 months time, it was like hell to me. In the past 3 months, i've worked at "Little Vietnam", "All Stars Sports Cafe" and back to the old "Oh! Sushi" in Mid Valley. All though it was a living hell to me, it was quite worth the experience. I've got a chance to interact with this japanese man who was a customer in All Stars during the World Cup 2006 wheres Australia vs Japan. For the first time, that was the only time I actually enjoyed watching the World Cup while working (XD). I stopped working at All Stars just last month and Oh Sushi yesterday as I had no longer have the will to work as I used to. I've got nothing much to say about "Little Vietnam" other than i've met alot of burmese people and get along well with them especially Cho Naing and Sally and also i've quitted 2 months ago. The reason as to why I quit? Well maybe its because I had no debts and I felt kinda stressed thinking of working. Bon Odori this year was alright, even though its almost same as last year, but this year we were in a bigger group. Had a little problems on the way there though (xD). Well, me, Dan, Hong, Guan Shern, Jiann Yet, Nigel, Crystal and her younger sister went together. Well as usual the ones that drives is me and Jiann Yet. We later on joined together with Rachel, DeA, Li Yen and Rachel's cousin which well, wore yukatas and as pretty/beatiful as ever? (xD). Well in the car, a few minutes after picking Nigel from Sunway, we chatted a little about some stuff and somehow I talked about my dreams. I told him that my dream is to have a family in a traditional japanese house with tatami mats, kneeling down, my wife serving me sake or even ocha while looking at the Sakura flowers outside the house blooming. I know, its kinda gay but honestly.... thats what I want. Even Nigel says it'll be like.... heaven (lolz). Well no one has ever asked of me of my dreams and that makes Nigel the first, in a way, i'm kinda glad that he asked (lolz). Its weird how much people will be happy after you ask them the question that they want people to ask. Well back to Bon Odori, I was stunned and also.... kinda embarrased.... Maybe I should've told Jiann Yet before we even go there. Well Jiann Yet out of sudden asked me while we were sitting down on the grass, drinking Asahi while eating Edamames well except Li Yen, she went to get some stuff to eat. He asked "Oi Daryl! Wheres your ex?". I was like "....Huh?" while actually I do know who he means, but I acted blur as she is NOT my ex. I kept on acting blur until he said it. But he made it sound as if I told the whole world that I was with Li Yen before. And now most probably she thinks that way too (~.~) as Rachel and DeA heard it. At that time I felt like banging Jiann Yet's head on the wall, but then I thought "Ahhh, just screw it". Well after Bon Odori, Jiann Yet told me that he wanted to eat japanese food and asked me if I know anywhere at 10.00pm sells japanese food (~.~). At first I was saying "10 o'clock already you think still got ah?". He then replied "I dunno, thats why I ask you, you know alot of japanese thing ma.". Then at that time I recalled a place that had a 50% discount on the ramens, opposite of Federal Hotel Kuala Lumpur as my cousin sis had her wedding there. So we headed there and I didn't thought that they'd still be open. We then had one of the most cheapest ramen set ever as no ramen set will cause less than rm10. We kinda enjoyed the food there and I was actually quite happy in a way that day (the only person who knows why, is..... you know who you are ^^). Well I just finished my semester 1 for my college and my final exam for semester 1. English and Business was alright. But Statistics was not really good.... but I tried my best (damn you add-maths!). The worst was Accounts..... I did only 2 questions... which only gives less than 15 marks out of 100 (~.~). Most probably i'd have to retake my Accounts paper again. The good news is that I have confidence to get to semester 2 (^^). This update isn't much and I can't think anything to post about. Thats for it today~ Till then Sayounara~!

"A dream will not be just a dream if you work yourself to achieve it" - Wiegraf (a.k.a) Urameshi and Vash

Chapter 4.4: Soshite... Boku no sekai ga kawatta (And so... My world changed)

2006-03-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

Being tickled at my legs... Those were the first thing i've started to remember for the first time. My grandpa from my mum's side loves disturbing me at the age of 3. He'd always call me and then start tickling my legs and my grandma, although i'm not the heir to the Wee family which is on my mum's side, i'm the most favourable grandson I don't know why but at the age of 3 until 7, my grandma would always be there for me. At that time, my mum and dad were working very hard so basically they had no time to spend with me, Trisha or Trevor. I remembered going to Melacca at the age of 4~7, with no fails, my grandma will bring me out with Trisha to a shopping complex named "Fajar" hiring trishaw pullers to get us there (if thats how you spell it). Once we reached there, my grandma would always get for both me and Trisha Mcdonalds. Sadly, my grandpa on my mum's side past away when I was only 5 years old (if i'm not mistaken). A few years later after that, my grandma, who loves walking around alot, couldn't walk as much as she could as she was hit by a stroke. Now she couldn't even walk with ease, she'll need help to go through her daily routine. That was the first time I felt really sad. When I was 5 in a kindergarten, i've met this chinese boy who would always stick with me whatever I did, I kinda forgotten his name but I didn't forget about the stuff we did when we were younger. Whenever the school bus reaches his house on the way to our kindergarten, he'd always prepare for me some chewing gums and sweets to share with. Even though we kinda had some communication problems as he can't speak english well, whilst I can't speak a single Cantonese but somehow we understood each other. After kindergarten, we both went to our separate ways and we didn't meet after that... well not quite true actually... I met him at Standard 6, which was in year 2000, we met through Counter-Strike. At first I didn't realize but later on after, I realize that he was that Chinese friend who'd always stick around with me when I was in kindergarten. Even though I realize that he was the one, I didn't mention anything about it with him... At that time, I thought its best if he doesn't know. That was the first person whom I called friend. At the age of 5, my mum loves watching love and romance movies, being naive and curious as I was when I was young, I wanted to try kissing as I was curious (well what can I say?). So in the kindergarten bus, theres this girl I know, Sarah (LMAO! I still can remember her name) we kinda sit near each other and talk. Of course I wouldn't expect her to say yes if I were to ask her to kiss me, so I made a plan. Later that afternoon when kindergarten ends, and we went into the bus, I purposely stand near her sit and was waiting for the bus to jerk, so that I could drop on to her, simply saying as to make it look like an accident kiss. I don't know why but somehow my plan actually worked (LOL!). The bus jerked and my lips touched her lips, and I told her sorry saying that it was the bus. At that time, she was blushing, wasn't even listening to my apologies. At the same time I was thinking how dumb I was as kissing isn't anything at all (well like I said, it all happened when I was young and naive). I thought that kissing would taste sweet (XD).
Well thats my first kiss for me (LMAO!). When I was 12, i've never thought of what like is... well thats until I met April Chew. Well April is two years younger than me and her background is from a wealthy family. Well the ironic part of this is that both me and Trevor was going for her (XD). Trevor and April is in the same class, but he is a bad liar. Whenever I bring up something about April, he'd always be on ears and he'll keep saying I don't care about her. Also at that time, Sabrina was close to April, Sabrina is my best friend during my primary school life. Sabrina would always give me ideas on how to get April and all, telling me about April's birthdate, her favourite stuff and activities. But sadly... at that time Sabrina had a crush on me... well she didn't bring it up until year 2002 when I was in form 2. The truth was also that I too had a crush for Sabrina when I was in standard 4 but I told myself that I could never imagine becoming a malay, so I gave up on Sabrina. Back to April, I bought for her a necklace for her birthday (well which was dumb) even knowing that I could never beat Lim Kit Leong over her as he was going for her as well. At that time, I don't look good at all as my hairstyle was always a box-cut/crew-cut hairstyle, whilst although Kit Leong don't have the looks, he has the style though. That was my first time going through a lot of troubles over a girl, although in the end Kit Leong has her attention and not mine. It was that same year when I was an arsehole, stealing my dad's cash to satisfy my pleasure to go to internet cafes when I was 12 and 13. That is the only thing i'll ever regret my entire life. At the age of 13, I felt like my life is meaningless, my classmates were jerks and sluts (its true, its what they've become now). I was on the same pace until... well I met Ong Joe Lin, Dan and Li Yen. I met Joe Lin through Magic The Gathering cards at Comixtra at Section 14, we started off as magic friends, and later on thats when he gave me Li Yen's number and asked me to go for her. As for Dan, I met him as one of the Red Crescent member who helped me out with my sprained arm. Well I was kinda playing with one of my indian friends in a bus when he brought up a metal pipe and he scared me off till I dropped off the bus and sprained my arm. Well as for Li Yen, it started off as an SMS (yep XD). That was the time when I started to realize that my life had a meaning after all. And then later on thats when I started to meet great peoples like Jia Hong, Pei Chuen, Wayne, Lexie, Ah Kit, Eric, Andy, Hui Ying, Michelle, Rachel, Amanda and not to forget Azwandi (^^). At year 2001 and 2002 that was when my true underdog story starts. People in the school at my form hates me, I don't know what the reason is, but alot of people says that i'm a cold and heartless person and blablabla. Also I can still remember Buford and Suren's exact words to me, saying "Daryl don't ever dream Li Yen would even talk to the likes of you, you're damn ugly and you have no chance at all". At that time I kept quiet and just smiled at them. A few months later on at year 2002, I made progress with Li Yen and I got acknowledged by most of the people who hated me, like Buford, Suren, Tee Yong, Brian Wong, Sam Chan, Tee Yew, Jiann Yet. Those were the first time I felt like i've accomplished something related with my own life and I didn't go for Li Yen because of what Buford and Suren said, its because I really liked her (^^). Oh yeah, the first person I idolize other than my mum and dad is, my older cousin brother, Lionel. Most of the time he is always sarcastic and all but at that time I thought that it was cool having those personality, the reason I changed my hairstyle from box-cut to centre-parting was also because of him ( I know that this is all of a sudden big bro but its a fact, i've always idolize you when I was little ^^). Even though my older cousin Lionel is not even blood related, he is still family to my family. Now for the present, I've recently had a car accident which almost cause Dan, Kae, Hong and Guan Shern's life, but luckily we all made it out without a scratch (well other than my dented Kancil =/). Well it was a rainy night and also my car tires were bald and the stereng had a problem which I didn't knew until recently after the accident. I called my dad and told him the situation, I thought that he'd go berserk and screw me up, but instead the most touching thing he told me came out, which goes "I'm.... just.... glad that you're alright". My dad is an egoistic person and he is not the kind of person who knows how to express his feelings, well as for me, I also have these difficulties... (=/). As for my SPM results, I had A1/GCE-04B for my english, 3B for my English for Science and Technology, 7D for both Maths and Malay language. Well as for the rest I failed (=/). When I received my results, I realized my weakness, its because of my hatred to the Malay language, it costs me with any malay-related subjects to fail. I'd thought that I had to resit for my SPM, but luckily I am still able to get into Stamford College KL, studying Business Administration. My class will commence on the 3rd of April and my break days will be on Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Also the reason why I went to KL instead of staying in PJ with my friends is because... I want a new environment, I wanna meet new people and also I think its because my instinct tells me to go to KL, even though its sad that i'm not with any of my friends from my high school life, but its for my own future. Aite I think that this is it, look forward for the next update ya!

"If i'm able to change my past, I would.... Who wouldn't?" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Vash

Chapter 4.3: Shinjitsu wa... (The truth is...)

2006-02-07T01:38:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 months since I last updated, well firstly its because I became more lazy (XD) and well its also because I don't wanna reveal my blog to my mum's friend (yeah I HATE her). Because of her, I almost had a misunderstanding with Colin. Ever since she came here, my family had became worst, I had fought with my mum over her and also screwed our family (yeah by telling my mum some sort of lies that made us fight). Shes always at home doing nothing, and shes around 30+, jobless i'm thinking as she does nothing other than using the computer at my house. Theres this one time when she was pissed at me because I tried and corrected her over food, and she told me that "Daryl I wanna make this clear, i'm twice your age and I should get proper treatment from you" well as usual whenever people scolds me when I know i'm right, I won't look at the person, acting as if he/she were talking to him/herself. At that time, I wanted to tell her off but no I didn't do that as it'll hurt my mum too =/. I kept to myself saying "Heck you're over 30+ and all you're doing is leeching my mum's cash, and all you ever did ever since you came back from England is nothing but updating your lame blog which is full of crap, and you want my respect? Better off to where you come from *****!". Well enough of that, back to December (^^"). Genting trip was fun but the theme park was a dissapointment as it was raining season and we couldn't play much of the outdoor theme park but we went to Snow World instead, (^^) which was really fun. Oh yeah not to forget, me, Dan, Hong, Kae, Hong Chun, Jiann Yet, Yeong Shan and Nigel went for the trip. We played blackjack (yeah Hong Chun lost to me around 40 bucks XD) and everyone was having fun with both the cards and the PS2's (yep Hong Chun and me brought our PS2). Overall I think this year is a little bit more fun than last year's trip (^^). Next is Terence's birthday party. Rachel dragged me as she wants to umph... avoid her ex? Well it was alright and Rachel served me some food (which... well made me feel VERY VERY BAD honestly, SORRY RACHEL~~~!). Then later on we played basketball (lolz!) yep... One of the sports which i'm good at (well not exactly VERY good). Theres this one time when I shot the ball (if im not mistaken) when suddenly the ball bounced on the board and hit rachel at her face (XD). I felt even worst (=/) about 20 minutes later while playing basketball, Rachel went back. That leaves me, Terence, Rach's ex and also her ex's sister (wow?). Thats when I started playing serious as there was no girl playing (=P). We played out of 5 and I scored well.... the first four balls (^^) and the last well.... Rach's ex did the job. The rest was nothing much other than goodbyes. Well then lets see.... Me and my family went back to Melacca on the 28th of January for Chinese New Year (excluding that ***** , which was good as if she were to go along, it'll ruin our new year). Well as usual nothing much happened other than this year most probably be the last year we'll celebrate in Melacca as my uncles are planning to sell away the banglow (=/). Well came back on the Friday the following week and on Saturday, well I happen to meet Crystal at IOI mall (yeah unexpectedly) and she was like "Err... Daryl...?" I thought my sister called me as I was going to watch movie with my parents and my grandma. Its really unexpected of her to chat with me as I never talked to her at all until just recently at the cinema. After a short conversation I said "Umph alright, I.... umph got to go, see ya laterz?" she replied "Umph okay..." then I went to my grandma realizing that Crystal was looking at me until her friend came and then left (hey i'm not vain, its true that she WAS looking at me the whole time after we chat). Well my dream of persuing my studies in Japan had shattered as dad says that he has no cash to pay for my education fee there (=/). Then my grandpa gave me a little hope as my grandpa from my fathers side called all the way from Australia and told my dad that he had won some cash from the casino (o.O). He then told my dad that he wants to use that money to pay for furthering my studies to Australia (@.@). My dad being the eldest son means he will be the head of the "Lim" family and for me being his eldest son means I will be taking care of my fathers family tree, which leads to my grandpa, to him, i'm his last hope as his side, none of the guys had ever been into universities other than my grandpa's youngest brother. To my grandfather (well according to my dad) i'm like his youngest son (@.@). I then made up my mind that wherever i'll further my studies at, I won't give a damn, as long as its not Malaysia (although i'm born on the national day but heck I HATE this country because of some problems). But its all not decided yet... so it'll be on hold till this coming march (=/). Recently Sabrina had invited me to go out for our primary school gathering... but I didn't go... well its because i'm afraid to see her... I guess... Well the main reason why I post this post is because I want Kazuki-chan to know that, its not that I have anything against Li Yen... Its just that after sending her the sms, I don't know why... but I somehow feel embarrased seeing her? Or even talk to her? Don't really know how to explain, but the truth is that she is still a friend to me. Although we rarely contact each other, all i'm hoping is that she'd be happy wherever she is. And actually thanks for telling me how she is and where she is Kazuki-chan (although that night at Terence's birthday I was kinda cocky when you brought her name up =P). I'm actually glad that shes doing fine. Aite, I think that i'll stop here, and hopefully will continue updating my blog as often as I could, till then sayonara~!

"I guess persuing my dreams is harder than expected... but I won't just give up yet!" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi and Vash

Chapter 4.2: Shinu wa nani (What is death?)

2005-11-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

Today, one of my dogs died... I felt kinda sad... at the same time happy for him... as while he was still alive, he spent most of his time in the cage as if we let him out, he'll start doing his business everywhere and start messing the place around. Chico was his name... normally every morning he'll bark and always had annoyed me as I am sleeping (lolz). He was a very active dog right to the very end.. last night he was barking for food... and I was the one who fed him last night. As usual he'd always move around the cage barking me to hurry up and give him his food (lolz). As when I wake up this morning not knowing anything, I called my sister to asked her why'd she call me as I received a missed call from her. She then told me that Chico had died, being blur as I was just awake, I said "Yeah...." then I said "WHAT!!!???" I got a shock, so I went to check and there he was... in his cage lying down there not moving. I was there... I kept calling him as I kept telling myself "No... he's not dead... he's just sleeping...right...?" but then I started to accept the harsh reality... Then I went back to the phone and asked Trisha how'd he died, she told me she doesn't know... but I suspected that he died due to age. Trisha asked me to burry him together with her later on... even as i'm typing now, Chico is still behind at my kitchen in his cage... Then one of the questions that i've always asked came to me again, asking "When will it be my time?" as I know life is short... today you might see me and tommorow you might not. This reminds me, to those who've read my outbox through my handphone, there is this message with just numbers in it... It's not a reservation number or something like that... It's a reminder... A reminder to remind me how many more days i've left... It's to make sure that I make use of the time i'm left in case anything were to happen to me. And also to anyone whois close to me reading this... if anything were to happen to me, please tell my family about this blog. So that they know how much i've loved them... let them know my dreams... my aim... my hopes... and the deeds that i've done behind their backs... no matter what happens... i'll always be with them. I might had told them that I have hated them and all but of course I didn't meant a single of those harsh words that I had used on them. But I love them no matter what... and also I want to be remembered as the person I was. I don't know how you guys will judge me for who I am, but I do think that the personality quiz for bleach characteristics is true about me... caring, curious, strong, wise and good hearted. I feeling kind of emotional now, can't continue typing... well hopefully anyone of you who are close to me can inform my family members about this blog if anything were to happen to me. And also, hopefully Chico, you can rest in peace, till we meet again...

"To be forgotten is a fate worst than death" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi and Vash

Chapter 4.1: Touwaku... (Confused...)

2005-11-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

It seems that lately, i've been lazy to post any entries (sorry guys!). SPM is just tommorow and i'm already in a tight situation. Well I had been studying for only maths lately (lolz!) , as if maths was the only subject I took for SPM. I guess its because I don't wanna fail my maths teacher, even though i've hated her... but heck at least I didn't treat her as Dan did. Talking bout him, it seemed like life had been great for him, well good for him. After this incident, my sister had always been bugging me to do something bad to him (~.~). She also asked me about "her" appearance as she wanted to do something to "her" too. But of course I did not told her about it and told her to forget about it. Then a few days back then, we talked bout stuff, until she brought up this quote "Daryl... One thing about me, you and Trevor is that we're a very loyal peoples", I guess she's right about it and then she asked me to go for Kelvin's friends and she told me to make my options wider as I only prefer girls who're nice, kind, cute in both speaking and/or appearance/attitude sense, understanding, truthful, speaks her mind, caring, commited,(yea I know what you guys think lolz) soft and lastly loyal... Well I don't need to explain both nice and kind as its common sense (lolz), cute as in the way she acts and speaks, understanding in different situations, because they're most things that people don't understand one and another, I know its hard to find these type of people... but i'm trying, truthful... well this one is a must, I FRIGGIN HATE SLUTS THAT USES PEOPLE AND THEN GO FOR THEIR FRIGGIN FRIENDS! Well that one I think I made my point (lolz), speaks her mind... hmph always telling me how she feels, tell me her thoughts, favourite stuff and others rather than hinting it i prefer a straightforward person (=D) rather than giving me bullshits. Caring... nothing much to say (lolz). Commited... more like... "I WON'T TAKE ANY BULLSHITS FROM YOU, IT'S EITHER YOU'RE WITH ME FOR WHO I AM OR GET LOST!". Soft in a sense of the way she speaks, hmph not rough but just soft words (well thats if you get what I meant lolz!). Well loyal is the most important one I guess, most people seem to have "another" people in their life, which I think that they're not truthful with the person they're currently with. I guess thats the reason why i'm "still" single ever since (lolz). Now I kinda missed my old online friends, Ah Kit, Claire, Eric, Lexie and Azwandi, lately I hardly see them online and they're busy getting ready for stuffs... Now i've got a new close online friend named Azizi, well we met through Blueserver and we've been close ever since, hes also taking SPM. Then a few days ago, Rachel chatted with me till I brought up about my blog stuff, she told me that I made a brave decision of "dumping" both of 'em outta my life. Don't really get what she meant but I think I kinda starting to understand. I guess this is it, gotta continue studying (@.@). Look forward for the next chapter ya! Benkyou tsuzukemasho! (Continue studying!)

"One thing about us is that.... we're loyal people... and yet we always get hurt."
"I know... i'm still searching... searching for 'Chii'..."
"If you find her... tell me all about her"
"Zettai... Korewa watashi ni anatano yakusoku!"
(Absolutely... This is my promise to you!")
- Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Vash to Trisha

Chapter 4: Susume Iku (GO Forward)

2005-09-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

A lot has happened recently, and it has already been a month since I last updated. I'll start with school, well almost everything is normal well except the fact that most people seemed to come to me and give me comments about my blog, like Tee Yew. He said "Hey Daryl! I heard from Andrew about your blog regarding Jess, you're DA MAN, man! Did you really said that you were relieved that you didn't ended up with her?" I replied "Yea I did, well because to think of it, how'd you feel or think if you're with a person who has 19 ex's and you're the 20th?" he then started thinking. I then told him "It's almost like ever since she's been born, she had different boyfriends every year ~.~" with the exact emoticon and he said "I respect you man!". I didn't thought that what I did seemed to have made most people happy.... In a way I guess... It also seemed that now i'm kinda close to, Habib and Andy. Well at least i'm glad the way things turns out and Andy had been telling me about the bet he made with Dan, telling me that he can't wait to win it. The bet was that IF Dan were to end up with Jess for 3 months, well a respect is deserved for him?? And if not, then what Andy says about "some certain school people" is true (don't want to get any troubles lolz). Well although i'm still talking to Dan and all, we still hardly talk like we used to... In a way its better as it is, as Kae Shiuh and Hong seemed alright with it although we both aren't like we used to be. Another is Japan School in Subang ^^. I've met this great persons, Aunt Pearly and Ah Fai. Well Auntie Pearly came from an interesting family background (to me) as her son is married, working and living in Japan, her daughter is also a Japanese fan and well she herself is currently fond of the Japanese culture and their language. Ah Fai is a student college whois having his last year at the end of this year in college studying electronics. He is determined to learn Japanese and work in Japan or work in a Japanese company (Panasonic, Toshiba etc etc.). Aunt Pearly helped me a lot by getting informations regarding to homestay programmes and etc, well to kinda repay her back, I translate 50% of the lecture given by the Japanese people as they can't coop up with them (well normally people will say that they talk fast lolz). Exams is still going on ~.~ and i'm trying to get the hang of it... I hate Septembers (lolz). Oh yeah I forgotten to mention that... THE GENTING TRIP will be back! Well thats AFTER SPM (lolz), me, Hong and Kae Shiuh confirmed that we'll definitely go and well the date is not set but its surely after December 18th (as I have my black belt test on that day ^^"). Hmph I guess this is it for now, oh and starting chapter 4, the titles will be either in japanese or english (don't worry translation will be available lolz).

"All i'm ever hoping for is that, whatever happens to me, all i'm hoping for is that it'll be repayed by bringing my dream come true..." - Daryl (a.k.a Wiegraf and Urameshi)

Chapter 3.7: Love... something to die for?

2005-08-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

Before anything that had happened between me and dan, my sis tried to kill herself... It started like any normal saturdays, I head to work and came back at night, on that night itself, after celebrating Bi Yen's birthday, she had a fight with Colin. It seemed normal but this time she really did attempt suicide, me, Kelvin, Colin and my dad were worried that she'd do something dumb. We went to look for her at 11pm that night until 1am, then I gave up looking for her and went to sleep. Then at 3am that same night my dad wake me up saying that they found her and now she's at the park near my house. At that time, it was raining heavily at that time, so I woke up and took an umbrella and walked to the park. When I reached there, I saw Colin, Melvin and her. I told both Colin and Melvin to go back and i'll take things over from here. They left me and her alone sitting on the swing at the park, I started off saying "Why Trisha?? Why??", she kept quiet while swinging the swing... my emotions came to me and I started asking her in tears (what a wuss ~.~). Before that, when my father told me that they had found her, she had attempted to jump over the bridge nearby my house and luckily one passerby alerted the police and the police brought her to the station. After convincing her to talk after 30 minutes, she then started to beg me to go back as she said that she don't want me to see her kill herself (~.~ I could've sworn that I would've slapped her at that time). I told her no and she kept on insisting until she was kneeling down begging me to leave her alone. I think i'll keep the rest of that problem and conclude that she finally got back her sanity and now she's much more happier and we're closer. Now time to make things CRYSTAL CLEAR about me and Dan, i'm NOT hating or fighting him over Jess, but yes, I DO admit that I was wrong to be mad at him in the first place, it's because he friggin brought up our friendship into the problem, saying that best friends don't call them names and blablabla. How about Hong and Kae Shiuh? Have they ever complaint about us calling them dog or chicken? Have they even complaint once? NO!! The other reason why i'm angry at him is also because I DID gave him a chance to explain, but no, he didn't want to. And there he go, teaching me that best friends share this and that and blablabla, I ain't using my blog to make people support me or something like that... I'm not that LOW to bullshit to people and at the same time, I realised that he's being what he is now because of her. Listening to her every single words, but somehow i'm glad that i'm not in his shoes now. Andrew (school friend) was looking for Dan for the past few days, he was going to warn Dan to tell Jess to watch out, because if he sees her, she's dead, thats the message he told me to tell Dan (I guess thats the reason why he's always absent in school nowadays), but I told him that i'm no longer his friend. We chat a little about the rumours being spread in the school about me fighting with Dan over her. He then finally understood what was really going on and he tell me to think saying "How'd it feel knowing your girlfriend has about 30+ ex-boyfriends?" I was stunned but at the same time, relieved. I believe the saying "What goes round, comes round". But if he thinks that I don't appreciate our friendship he's wrong, I do appreciate it, really I do, because he was more like a brother to me rather than a friend. I won't forget when I was very sick, he took care of me while my parents was away in Europe when I overnight at his house for 3 days straight. There're more but this is the one that I really did appreciate most. Yep you guys might think that this is nothing but it does mean something to me. Just to remind, IT HAS NEVER BEEN A FIGHT OVER A GIRL. I guess this is it~

Andy - "Remember Daryl, that because of your friends, you are what you are now..."
Daryl - "I know... But to me, friends comes and goes..."

Chapter 3.6: The time is now!

2005-07-29T20:15:00.000+08:00

I guess its my time now, i've already tried to end this little misery I had with Dan and Jess but it seems that Jess doesn't like it (Well before I start off, most of the conversation are NOT 100% exact to what they or me says, so don't say i'm assuming). Well i've asked them both out during tuition to make things clear. Waited and listened to what they have to say while drinking and eating, then Jess started saying "Hey i've read your blog and it hurts me... about the things you think" while I was just keeping quiet, listening to what she has to say. She was saying that shes sorry that she had hurt me and all. Then later on she said "I'd do anything including not being with Dan to make both of you back as close friends as before", I then told her "No, even if you are or not, it won't make any differences, I DON'T CARE anymore" really I do. Then the conversation kept going until she walked away crying while Dan was still sitting there. So I told him "Hey you'd better go and check her out" he then asked me "You don't mind?" (What kind of STUPID question is that? Which girl wouldn't want a guy to go after her? ~.~). I then replied "I told you I DON'T CARE anymore" (after all, i'm not their father or something like that ~.~). Then he went for her (~.~) while I was about to eat. Then later on, Dan came back to the table, I asked him "She cried?" he then showed me his shirt thats a little wet, which showed that she did. We chatted a little, he bring up this thing about wacking him, he asked me to punch him as a friend, but I said "No! Because if I were to do that, i'll just end up making Hong and Kae Shiuh sad and also, i'm acting the way I was remembered by someone special to me and living that way but don't worry, its not Jess ^^" he then keep quiet. Then a few minutes later she came back along with Christina and Amanda. Both Dan and Jess were quiet whilst Christina and Amanda was asking me a lot of questions like, "Why'd you not be close friends back with Dan?" and many more similiar questions which kept going on, well thats until I brought up saying that "Both of them are dead to me now, and now, they're just normal friends, to me Dan is just my school friend and Jess is just a tuition friend to me, nothing much more than that anymore" Jess was pissed at what I said and she told me off saying "You're SELFISH!!!" and I replied calmly "Yes! Yes I am!" while I kept to myself saying "How about YOU? It has always been YOU hasn't it? What YOU want... Who's being selfish now? How about friggin ME? Heck to you, I think there is NO ME after all i've been through for YOU, i've got nothing but pain, so why must I do things the way YOU want it to be?". Then she walked away and this time with Dan. And also before this I told Dan that, from now on DON'T come to me if he needs someone to talk to, he knows best who to go to. So then the debating started out between me Christina and Amanda (oh trust me, they're VERY persistent, but hey i've made it through). Well it went on until they said "Alright then, at least think about what we said..." well basically they're also trying to make all 3 of us to be as it is before, but I told them "After what happened, its impossible looking it that way, after being through stuff like this, I... just can't..." and later on I told them that I appreciate what they're trying to do, really I do but I told them that I think that things is better the way it already is. We then decided to head back to the tuition not knowing where Dan and Jess went, we found out that they were there. Well the class went well and they seem happy sitting together talking, like I said, things are better the way it is, i'm not involved in their lives anymore and so are they whether they liked it or not. At that night, I talked to my sis about it saying how regretful I was doing all those things for her, i've pushed both physically and mentally to the extreme and what exactly for, to get hurt was the conclusion. But Rachel's words made me realised something... She told me "Be sad once and be stronger next". And as usual nowadays, I wasn't able to sleep until the it reaches 3~4am (~.~) thinking about the things that happened to me. Well for the first time today, Hong actually spoke to me seriously, trying to cheer me up today (which he always does lolz). Then we went to our normal hangout in SS2 together along with Kae Shiuh, Guan Shern, Swee Loong, Jian Yet, Yeong Shan, Hong Chun, Nigel, Terence, Pak Sun and Kenny (a big group, I know =D). Played a few games of DotA which felt so much more relieved, then later on we all said goodbye except that me and Kae Shiuh was going back together, i've asked Kae Shiuh about what should I do, he then told me don't do anything about it, leave it as it is. Then it got to me, I know that i've already tried my best but they don't like the result I gave them, so what the heck. I'm not that bothered by it anymore. I guess this is it and Chapter 4 will be on my birthday =D (having crazy thoughts about what I should do on/before that day with my friends)

P.S: I really want to thank Hong and Kae Shiuh for trying to cheer me up, honestly I appreciate what you guys are doing and it helps ^^

"Your time is up, my time is now, you can't see me, my time is NOW!" - John Cena - The time is now

And just so you know

2005-07-27T14:19:00.000+08:00

I've lied to my dad saying that the tuition over here in Puchong stacks with my Japanese class for the econ's class. I friggin don't work last Saturday because of her, which is for only 2 hours because she asked me out 2 weeks ago and Miss Yuki was kinda mad at me because of it, I stayed back for the past 2 weeks thursdays because of her while I was so darn tired, I DID went for her, its just that I don't show it. Because I don't want her to worry or feel bad about it, thats why I NEVER told anyone about it.

This is not one of the chapters, its off the chapter....

Chapter 3.5: Betrayed... manipulated... it'll never end

2005-07-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

I guess its as the chapter says... i've been betrayed and manipulated by two people who I THOUGHT that they're special to me. Hmph... lets start out with Jess, we started out as normal friends and later on she told me she had feelings for me, at first I didn't believed her as she doesn't act like it, but on the first and last lunch we had, I was convinced that she is as she brought me last year's exam paper for Biology and Chemistry... and also giving me a short message, at that time, I thought how sweet of her to do those as nobody has ever did something like that for me. So ever since that i've tried to do something for her too... I've changed Suren's thoughts about her as normally, Suren will just call her a bitch in front of me but now he doesn't call her that way in front of me because we respect each other and he somehow knew I was going for her. Then as things started to turned out right, Dan asked me about the tuition I went along with Jess. At that moment, I knew that if I were to tell him about the tuition, he'd come into my personal life and things wouldn't turn out right... But no, I somehow still had faith in him so I decided to tell him about the tuition that me and Jess was in. What was important about it is that while we're still very close friends, I told him "Whatever your personal life concerns, I don't give a damn, so don't ever get involved into mine either", but no, he HAS to friggin put his friggin nose into my personal life. Ever since then, they started to develope their relationship until one day Jess just send me an sms saying "Erm, u noe wat? Lets juz stay at close friends... Believe me, its not because of Chee Boon (some guy).. but im not that kind of gurl that can b commited in a relationship that is under wraps... You don't want my friends to know and I want them to know so badly, we're too different... Frankly I notice that we r driftin apart.. I'm sorry" While I was walking back all the way from my tuition which was in PJ state, to my home... I was planning about the things I should do for her and all... Until I received that sms, I was kinda sad... But I told her that I won't give up as i've admitted to her that I too liked her, but before I make anymore moves, I asked her to answer me honestly whether shes going for anyone else. But she replied no, other than Chee Boon thats going for her. At that time I knew... I just knew it, but I didn't react to it. The next day, after I went my normal hangout in SS2 in a cyber cafe, I went to Dan's house as because I had no transport back. Ever since then I was moody... Thinking about it like almost everytime, then later on that night, he asked me a question which kinda triggered my fear, he asked me "Hey umph Daryl, will you be mad at me if I were to do something like what Dexter did?". At that moment I knew that my hunch was right, so I answered him calmly, "It depends on what it is..." while playing the computer. Then after a few minutes later, I asked him back, "Why'd you ask me that question earlier?", he then replied "Err nothing". So I decided to ask him later on again when I think he was ready, the same thing happened but I added "You and Jess are couples is it?" asking him calmly. He replied with the look I somehow knew saying "Erm... no..." and he said "You'll find out tommorow" which was supposed to be a 2 person outing, which was planned by Jess 1 week before together with me. Then I gave him a chance to speak out because i'm calm at that time and also i'm giving him a chance to explain... but no he prefer's to keep it rather than telling me, then I told him "It's better if you tell me rather than I find out" but he still sticks to his decision. On that night while I was reaching home, I stop by a food stall near my house to get something to eat, I sms'ed Rachel as I remembered while using Dan's comp, she was the only person online. The message goes something like this "Hey there Rach, you awake? If not then nevermind ^^ sorry to disturb you by the way" (i'll skip a few sms). Then later on after my bath she replied asking me why and what was wrong... I told her that I was kinda sad and need someone to talk to and I told her that shes the only person in my phone who is awake at that time (which was around 2.00am). So I told her my situation but I didn't tell the whole story as I was tired to type, but she somehow made me feel better. Then the next day, me, Dan and Jess went for the movie, filled with disgust and uncomfortable, I had to watch the movie together with them. It's like they're telling me "Hey Daryl! Thanks to you, we are both together!" (~.~) honestly, if I knew something like this were to happened, I would've just sit at home play my PS2. So basically I was kinda moody the whole day even during our cathering that night. Well said enough, to conclude it all, I felt like I was just a bait for Jess to get Dan and for Dan it was an opportunity for him to get something. Stupid me for even falling for this type of girl... But somehow I really want to believe shes not that type of person and keep telling myself that... But I guess it just happens in one's dream... And I could've sworn that I would've done anything to get her... Until now... And for Dan, if he can do this to me now, how about my future? He might take my wife as well... Readers can think i'm just jealous and childish, but i've had it... always friggin giving, NEVER receiving. If I were to forgive both of them, it'll take quite sometime to build back the trust that I had given them but I don't think i'd want something like this to ever happen to me again... Well I think this is my decision at least... but heck, think of it if you're in my situation. Colin was telling me "OF all people Dan!?? He should at least think! And I thought he's your best friend..." I told him yea the situation sucks... and I told him "You know, I have this feeling of wacking him up but hes my friend... so I guess I can't do anything about it..." and Colin kinda agreed to what I said. I guess I feel much better after writing this post... And I just got my piercing done, don't think i'd be able to go to school for a few days, well guess this is it, till then wait for the next chapter ^^!

"NEVER bother my personal affairs and so would I to yours" - Daryl (a.k.a Wiegraf, Urameshi)

Chapter 3.4: Justice... A dream come true

2005-07-23T02:06:00.000+08:00

Its been quite sometime since i've last updated, a lot has happened. Amongst all I think I enjoyed "Bon Odori" festival the best though ^^. I was supposed to go there with Dan and Jess, but unfortunately Dan was still in a cyber cafe and forgotten all about it whilst Jess can't go because of her parents... That leaves only me. On the way to the stadium, Claire sms'ed me saying that she's also going, well to be honest I was kinda glad that I thought that I won't be going there alone. I asked her bout Ah Kit and Eric but she doesn't know whether they're coming or not and we decided to meet up during the festival. Once i've reached at 6.00pm I was looking for Claire until 7.30pm when I decided to tell Claire that its alright and that we can meet anytime, it was so crowded that we ended up not meeting. I was kinda lonely there till I met Terence (a nice guy, met in a cybercafe) while walking around the food stalls. He was shocked that I came there alone and we chatted till we met Rachel, Faith, Guo Zhang (a friend from school), Diana and Kong Weng (well at least these are the names that I can remember). They were having a picnic in the middle of the small field. A few days before Bon Odori, Rachel invited me to go along with her as I told her most probably i'll be going alone but I refused (as i'm afraid to see Faith). But in the end I still ended up tagging along with them (lolz!). Rachel was telling me how quiet I was because I hardly talk to anyone there except Kong Weng. Well I guess I didn't talk much because i'm afraid that I might spoil any of their days by saying something wrong. And to be honest, Rachel, Li Yen and Diana looked beautiful wearing the kimonos (XD don't worry I have no intentions at all =P). Well the rest was dancing (lolz!), everyone was gathering in the middle of the stage dancing around it, and trust me, this is my first time dancing and I really enjoyed it =P. Well next on to "My screwed up friggin Malay language teacher". It started out as like any normal Wednesdays but I knew something bad will happened that day... I argued with my bm teacher until she brought up my parents, she said "Macam inikah ibubapa kamu mengajar kamu? Ibubapa kamu tidak ajar kamu!" ("Is this the way your parents brought you up? Your parents didn't teach you!). Thats when it triggered me, I told her "You DON'T involve my parents in this!", and she replied "You shut up!" and I said to her "No YOU shut up!" while Dan was trying to keep me cool down saying "Chill Daryl, Chill...". She isn't satisfied and she brought this up to the "Student's Problem Teacher" (or something like that) I was kinda relieved that the "problem" teacher that screwed up teacher brought me to was a teacher i'm kinda closed to. Well I was in tears saying that she insulted my parents (such a wuss ~.~)... but whatever I tried to say, they seem to be manipulating every single words I say. We conclude it that I was wrong for telling a teacher to shut up... trust me its not fair... what is worst comparing saying to someone shut up and for someone to talk bad about your parents ~.~? I was punished to get canned twice at my butt... hey Marcus, i'm friggin sure that Australia there's such thing as a STUDENT'S RIGHTS, after all, I HATE my country... The only thing I treasure in this country are my family and friends and maybe some special places. I think i'll stop here for now, looking forward to type down more but as i'm typing now, i'm kinda feeling down... but anyways look out for Chapter 3.5 ^^

"As when you notice, theres no such thing as justice..." - Daryl (a.k.a Wiegraf, Urameshi)

Chapter 3.3: My life as a song

2005-03-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

Its been quite awhile since I last updated. Well a lot of things happened actually, Trevor was warded into the hospital twice, I broke up with Angel, celebrated my sister's birthday, can't go to Japan this year because of my family financial state, i'm going for a Japanese speech contest (school level), got addicted to Warcraft 3, spent my uncles and aunties for a dinner and lastly..... feeling lonely again. Trevor's cramp came back this year, first it happened during chinese new year while my family (except Trevor) and my cousins went out for dinner. When we came back after dinner, we found him lying down on the simen floor outside our house (malay bangalow). When I saw him lying down, it hit me again, I meant that fear.... We rushed him to the hospital and after awhile he was in there, the doctor said that he was alright but he should stay for an observation. At first he hesitated, but in the end Colin finally convinced him. After that he was fine.... well thats until 3 days after, I was figuring how to do my maths question. Then Michelle called me saying "Daryl your brother is in BK (patients room)". I rushed there to see what was wrong and the same thing happened, just that this time I was shedding my tears. He was trying to say something but couldn't..... he looked as if hes going to die, then I told him with tears "Trevor... no matter what, don't die on me" in front of Michelle (well I wonder whether she realized). Moments later the ambulance came and I followed them to the hospital where I met both my parents. We went to ask the doctor whether he is fine and he said yes, my parents were listening to the doctor about what might had cause it, while I was telling myself how stupid I was to even cry. I've never cried for anyone in my life well... except for him. The next few days he was alright from that on... till now. Back in my past I was called "Emotional Fighter". Whenever i'm in a fight, I don't know why, but unlike anyone, I cry whenever i'm in a fight. But I realized whenever I cried, I won't hold back. But that was my past though... I broke up with Angel a day before Valentine's Day (what a jerk!). I told her exactly what I thought, and I think she understood my letter.... I realized she doesn't have that one thing that I want.... I'd want the person I like to be able to live freely, not under supervision. Well what I meant is that I want my girlfriend to be free, not being hold by her parents and not to be afraid of anything. From here on, now I understand why most people have girlfriends when they're older. Hmph I don't think I can explain it well but back to what happened, I celebrated my sisters birthday along with Edmund and Xue Wen. Well it isn't a good birthday for her as she had a fight with Colin. I was telling my sis to go over to my working place for dinner, my treat, she agreed but as when I found out that Xue Wen was going as well, Xue Wen reckon us steamboat. I said anything will do, then Edmund drove my sister's kancil (a malaysian car model) to that steamboat place. Well nothing much happened except that my sis wasn't eating much because of the fight. Then after that they were back together again. I just found out that my parents are broke, now that my dad doesn't have a good pay unlike his ex-company, whilst my mum is kinda paying almost everything for the family.... thats when I decided not to go for the trip =/ but then when I read the newspaper one day I found out that they're holding a Japanese Speech Contest High School Level. And the price is.... an all expense paid 2 week study trip to Japan. That shed a little light into my life.... but theres a catch though (damn!) the speech has to be 800~1200 words in Japanese and at least 5 minutes long (i've gotta memorized at least 900 words T_T) and i've gotta go through an interview by speaking Japanese. I've asked Tamaki-sensei (one of my Japanese teachers) she told me that its better if I finish my whole course first which is next year (O.O). 2 weeks later something inside me told me to go, then I followed my instincts, i'll receive my reply tommorow from Tamaki-sensei. I've quitted RO and recently I was addicted to Warcraft 3 playing a map called dotA. Now I have a team and our goal is to try and conquer the dotA world =D. 3 days ago I decided to spend my uncles and aunties for a dinner, my treat. I would've used that money to spend on my own things but somehow I prefer spending it with my family. The dinner did not went well as it was slow and we're all kinda pissed with the restaurant. I drank wine for the first time and actually drink 1 full cup of wine ^^, the dinner came out RM250 I was somehow relieved that it wasn't RM350 ^^. Then later on my cousin brother teached me tactics of how to play dotA with 100% teamwork. Even though all of this had happened I still somehow feel very lonely indeed.... unlike me when I was in year 2002. During these times Joe Lin will call me to talk about Faith, Rachel will call me every month to know how am I those days, Christina and Amanda will sms me when she's bored and i'll be calling Faith everyday. Its not to say that its not fun chatting with my guy friends.... its just that while chatting with them (except Ong Joe Lin) they still seem to be egoistic. And mostly their topics aren't as interesting as the one that the girls always brings up (this is a fact =D). I think of myself as a gifter, I gift more and I hardly receive... I had make people happy, but i'm never am happy of myself...
Lastly, I pick this very meaningful chapter name as because as much as I enjoy music, I think of my life as a song, in order to make my "song" perfect, i've got to form a good band. I'll have to make a perfect lyric and play the right instrument. As for the band, i've got to pick the right people to be my teammate, if not my "song" will not be perfect. I see myself as a singer for the band, the leader in that band who'll be bringing the band to form a perfect "song".

"Life can be taken as a challenge and can also be taken as a result of your wrongdoings" - Daryl

Chapter 3.2: Souls to remember

2005-01-24T17:54:00.000+08:00

Its kinda sad to see the things we see almost everyday gone... The only two puppies that really bring joy to my life died on the 21st of January 2005. I did not cry, but deep down inside me was crying. Facing a sad reality, I went on with my life. On that day itself, my family and Marcus's family went up to genting. I got this news while I was eating in McDonalds when my sister start talking about the puppies. As I stood there, I remembered the times when I was playing with both Coco (browny) and Miko (blacky). They were born 5 months ago, together with another 2 more sisters. But unfortunately for the eldest one, died due to paralysis... then the other one was stepped to death (THX MELVIN!). Both Coco and Miko were the only survivors... I thought they'd be able to survive long enough, but sadly they've got effected from a virus that was from Xue Wen's dog (childhood friend). But I know that no matter what I do I could never bring them back again, like the saying "1 life, 1 chance". The least I can do for them is to go on with my life (yea i'm a dog lover). Back at genting Trevor and Marcus had lots of fun in the room (yea pillow fights). And for the first time, Marcus was kinda open to me (yea he talked to me about girls and stuff). Overall the trip there was kinda boring as the outdoor theme park was close due to the bad weather there. Right after coming back from genting, I got to invite my other cousins, Leon and Leonard to join us for dinner as Marcus was here. And well time passed in a blink of an eye, tommorow he'll be leaving back to Australia, even though its kinda short but I realized that i'm starting to appreciate everything i'm doing.

Here's a few pic during Marcus's stay;

From left: Me and Marcus

From left: Trevor, Me, Leon, Bi Yen and Melvin

"Even though now you're gone, you're always part of me" - Daryl

Chapter 3.1: Money or friends?

2005-01-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

After 3 weeks attending school, everything went well, I started working back at Oh! Sushi. Me and Kae Shiuh are planning to form an anime group. Currently i'm the one whois in charge of the storyline and Kae Shiuh will be finding people who're interested for now as we'll start our project on April (yea once i'm back from Japan ^^). School was almost the same, but Dexter isn't. Well he promised me that he'll treat me for lunch as me and dan helped him to get a job at where we're currently working. After 3 months of working there, I asked him to treat me a dish that cost RM20 but then he said its way too expensive (yeah right! working there for 3 months and already earning RM1000+!). Then after work on the last day hes working when our shift is over, he asked me to go and eat lunch his treat, I told him nevermind as because I don't want people to treat me as they're forced to and also RM20 isn't even 10% of RM1000+. The next day in school, he hold me back and then said "Hey I promise something i'll keep my words" (while taking out a RM5 note) I told him nevermind and forget about it, after that we rarely chat as we used too. Well this isn't one of his money issues, the other he had was with Kae Shiuh, Kae Shiuh needed to borrow a few hundred bucks for a few days, but then when he borrowed from Dexter and got charged tax ~.~. When Kae Shiuh owed me cash, I don't even charge this crap to him and my friends (tax!??? what tax!?). I also heard that he was such a fuss when he went to Sri Petaling to get his new shoes (yea long story, i'll make it short). He kept asking the retailer to lower the shoes price from RM39 to RM35 (RM39 out of RM1000+ a big difference?) he ask and ask and ask till the friends that were following him were so pissed that they gave him RM4. Money minded friends are nothing but blood-sucking peoples ~.~ (sad but true) and besides, hes no longer the Dexter I once knew. Next is this movie called "The Doll Master", a Korean based horror movie. The movie is great! Nice storyline and excellent performance from the main actress herself. This story is based on dolls, and yea the movie is kinda creepy though ^^". Lately I feel like my relationship with Angel is drifting away as I can't go online as often as I can.... I feel kinda guilty here... but I could not help it. For now i'll leave our relationship to the hands of fate and here, my new schedule;

Monday - Tuition 3pm~4pm, Work 6pm~10pm
Tuesday - Rest day ^^
Wednesday - Tuition 3pm~5pm, Japanese class 7pm~9pm
Thursday - Tuition 2pm~5.30pm
Friday - Japanese class 7pm~9pm
Saturday - Work 11.30am~10pm
Sunday - Work 11.30am~10pm

P.s: You readers can come and visit me at my workplace during these times, I can give you guys discount =P

"I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me" - As Long As You Love Me -Backstreet Boys

Chapter 3: A new year with a new resolution!

2005-01-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be one of my best years and also a year full with sufferings T_T. First i'm taking tuition to intensify my studies. Next my japanese class ^^, try and master my basic japanese language before heading to Kyoto in 3 months time ^^ (hopefully) . Then in 3 months time i'll be heading to Kyoto, Japan (yay finally!) on their cherry blossom event which is on the April for a homestay program ^^. Then right after that is STUDY STUDY STUDY, my schedule for weekdays are as follow;

Monday - Tuition
Tuesday - Tuition
Wednesday - Japanese class
Thursday - Tuition
Friday - Japanese class

Saturday and Sunday will be my offday as of now, yep and now my father had restricted me from using the computer except fridays and saturdays ~.~ which I don't think is neccesary. Maybe i'll try cosplaying this year =P (yeah maybe after I go and do something with my face). I hope after all those study, hopefully I'd be able to get 7~9 A's (at least). Then after SPM i'll go style my hair (yeap i'm gonna do it Japanese way ^^) since i've found out a saloon where they do Japanese hairstyles and their latest trend ^^. And finally hopefully Angel will get her phone before any of those ~.~ (yea I know i've been hoping for quite sometime already and in fact felt kinda bored typing the same thing over and over)

"Everything starts with a dream" - Daryl

Chapter 2.6: The devil within

2005-01-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

Many people used to say many good things about me like "Daryl you're nice" and all, but right after I told them that i USED to steal and I used to punched a girl, they go speechless. Yeap thats my dark side, it was 5 years ago, the last year that i'm in my primary school. I used to steal my parents hard-earned cash for my own pleasure, that is to go to internet cafe's during that year. Then a year later, I admitted it to my parents that I was the one stealing their cash, I thought they'd be beating the crap outta me but instead they prefer to forgive, after a few moments of lecture, they told me "Please don't do it again". Then later on as I went back to my room to think about the words they said while playing Final Fantasy 7. As that moment I started to changed and realized how I wasted 1 year of my life (yea Final Fantasy and my parents words changed the way of things I used to see). From that moment on, I totaly changed. I rarely get into fights, came back home right away after school, studies improved. Then while I was in my former secondary school that is SMK Batu 8 Puchong (this school sux 2 da max!) I was very unhappy with the environment there. I had lots and lots of problem communicating with other student as Puchong (the place I live) hardly has much english educated people. The class i'm in, the way they teach and all... I felt so lonely as I had not much people to talk to as my primary school. Till one day (not sure when it was xD) I was very moody, and theres this indian gal in my class whois darn arrogant and vain. I was looking outside the window where it happened to be the place where she sits. Then her friend told her I was looking at her (yea MAYBE in her dreams) then she came confronting me saying "Why'd you look at me for?!" then I replied "I'm looking outside the window not you @#$%^!". She then took her metal pencil box and hit me on the face (OUCH!!). I got so pissed that I punched her, but of course I hold back and her nose started to bleed (I swear to god I did hold back that punch, it was darn soft!). We were both sent to the dicipline room, where she lied about me assaulting her first ~.~, then the teacher was asking me to find an eye-witness, I brought one of the guys sitting in front of me explaining what really happened, the dicipline teacher found out that she assaulted me and god knows what that teacher did to that indian gal because right after that happened I was transfered to SMK Sultan Abdul Samad PJ (such a relief). Thats where I met great people and yea people who made me who I am now (gotta thank my parents for that too). Chapter 3 is up next!

"Whether you like it or not, I am me, i'm glad the way I was brought up and not you nor anyone can change that" - Daryl

Chapter 2.5: Those were the days...

2005-01-08T13:01:00.000+08:00

Right after the tourney, i've had an sms from one of my taekwon-do classmate. She sent me this sms "Hey there! I'm a gal, i'm kinda short, like playing basketball who admires you" well its something like that. At first by the way she typed it, i thought it was Kae Shiuh thats fooling around, then after a few sms, i knew who it is right away, it was Felicia's friend Darshini ~.~ (I confirmed it by calling Felicia up). Since I knew who it is, I tagged along with her "lil joke" and it lasted for 3 days (lolz!), till she admitted that she's Darshini, saying "Oklar I don't wanna give you soo much tension on who I am, i'm Darshini". I told her I knew it and right after that she stopped smsing me (except christmas and new year eve). It reminds me of the gals that went after me 3 years ago. Yeah the first one was Su-Lyn, well this one tried to use me , Sarah told me exactly what shes trying to do (since Sarah was close to her 3 years ago), she warned me and yea I told her "Don't worry i'll know exactly what to do" that is to tag along with her lil sick game. Then a week later after that, we got very close (yea VERY close indeed), she started to sit near me everytime when theres no teacher around and chat with me about who I like and all. As days go by, she then started to ask me, "Do you like me Daryl?" I said yeap BUT i like someone else even more (yeap its true at that very year I met someone special). Then a few days later, I thought its best to quickly end this game but before that, I asked her "Do you like me?" she said softly "yea"... Right after that moment, I hardly chat with her, 3 years after that, I've heard that shes been sleeping with guys and all, I gotta give all the credits to Sarah for warning me ^^. Then another was Kar mun, well this one is....kinda lame, since she doesn't talk to me much (except for school studies), i've asked one of my friends to ask her why'd she like me and guess what, she said its because I teased her ~.~, then later she invited me to her birthday party . The way that Sarah and Grace acted during her birthday party made it obvious that she has a crush on me. I got my way out of there when I had the chance (her party was awfully boring). The last was Sabrina...... She has the most qualities that a guy would want and shes pretty alright, to start it off, Sabrina was my best friend in my primary school, same age as me. Shes always there when I need someone to talk to. Right after primary school ended we hardly contact each other, thats till year 2002, we met again at our school bus. Thats when I gave her my contact number, at that time, i've been calling Faith everyday (the same year as Su-Lyn was trying to use me). Then theres one day when Sabrina smsed me, i was kinda happy that she did as we have not been chatting for quite sometime. We chatted until where she smsed me that she has a secret but shes afraid to tell me. Not knowing whats so secretive it was until i replied her sms saying "Hey its alright if you don't wanna tell me or not, i'm yer best friend remember?". Right after she received that, she smsed me saying that she likes me thats when i went o.O (I had a crush on her during my primary time, but i just knew i had no chance). Don't really know how to reply that sms... then i smsed her that I think it'd be best as best friends (dumb reply). Then she smsed me saying "Ok" (or something like that, I knew at that time she was sad though....) We were like twins during those days. Later on we hardly contact each other, 2 long years i've been trying to get her contact number as I was conned with my phone and lost her contact number(long story). Then i finally got her number and i told her that she needs to know that, i too used to like her but i just knew that it would not happen. She said "Ok", somehow i felt kinda relief to let her know, after that we never chatted nor talked (sad eh?). At that time i was afraid of 2 things, to lose a friend and not being friends after a break up (that's exactly why i haven't got any special girlfriends at that time)

P.s: I was asked from a lot of my friends and fans of *~Life~* =D "What happened to you and Faith now?" well heres the answer, we're now friends, even though not as close as we were and we hardly talk to each other now, and maybe I was once one of her close friends, we're now just friends ;)

Memories are nice, but memories are just a memory i'd prefer to keep it to myself - Rikku from FFX

Chapter 2.4: The coward

2004-12-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my taekwon-do tourney, this time without a gold medal (heck we fought against people older than us by 7~10 years) but we tried our best. I've always been condemnming my brother, but when it comes into certain things, we always support each other. Earlier yesterday, our team was close to the finals but before that, we haveta face a very tough team (yea they're from Kedah). First round Tek Liong (a black belt) helped us to spar but still we lost, then the second one my brother went to fight against the same belt as his yet he drew, then for the third one I was sparring (yea with their weakling) I won, then the last round... the most fearsome opponent, his size was huge and he's kinda tall, all 4 of us were scared of him except for that one person. And that one person was my brother himself, he then sparred with courage that 4 of us don't have, but he lost. Even though we lost, it made me realize one important thing, yea that is that i've been a coward... always fought the weak ones unlike my brother, he has the courage that I don't. Then earlier today, he sparred couragely but we still lost, but he was injured. His opponent (20+ years old) kicked his balls, yea his balls too hard that his muscles all cramped and he couldn't move at all. We sent him to the hospital due to the lack of medical officers, from that moment on, I was afraid... afraid to lose a brother that i've been raised with. He was grieving in pain yet I couldn't do a thing for him... i felt so darn useless, so useless that i felt like its better if i'm not his brother... Then after half an hour in the hospital, he was back to normal, just that he needs rest and all, that really made me relief. From here on, i'm gonna be serious about the things i do, i've made up my mind on my ambitions that is to be either a doctor, game director or a movie director (I chose doctor so that i could help others, and also so that I wouldn't feel useless in those type of situations), instead of earning $$$ working, i've made up my mind on going for tuitions for all my subjects, I wanna keep my target of becoming the first guy in the whole family to be a University graduate, improve my japanese language, and to at least... meet Angel ^^. I'm targetting straight A's for my upcoming exam which is next year (although i've NEVER get more than 1A in an exam). Now that i've got targets, it will keep me going, and also not to be a COWARD that i'm already am on every situations, I wanna have that courage that my brother has and yea even though i condemn him with my words... the truth is I love him ^^, its just that the ego thats stopping it all. Working is out of my mind temporary, now i'm concentrating on both my taekwon-do and my studies, not to forget, i'm waiting for Angel to get her phone, so that i'd be able to contact her via sms/phone rather than online which is very hard. Till then, wait for da next chapter!

"Courage is not shown everytime, it'll somehow come to you when the situation is right, then only will the individual understands the true meaning of COURAGE" - Daryl

Chapter 2.3: People I know

2004-12-03T17:31:00.000+08:00

I quit my job on the very first day. Not because I don't like it, it's because of the shop supervisor, first she asked her head chef to interview me. Then after all those talks, he agreed and he told me that I can start off working the next day 10.30, then the next day when I went there, the head chef told me that the supervisor needs workers only for saturday and sunday, not on weekdays (~.~). He asked for my decision, I can't say yes... so I said "nevermind, forget bout it". All my hopes went down all because of the stupid supervisor (I don't wanna use vulgar words here as it'll ruin my blog). But the bright side was that I am able to chat with Angel a lot lately. Yea i'm not myself lately, i've been waking up at odd hours which is 7~9 a.m everyday (which I don't normally do), just to get to know Angel better and better everyday (T_T). I feel kinda tired, very tired (this is the first person which I spent 100% my time with) other than my friends. Here's a few pic of people whom I can call "Friends"

From left to right (top): Jia hong, Me, Kae Shiuh, Nigel and Jerome
From left to right (bottom): Wei Hong, Phui Thong (Dan) and Yeong Shan
(Don't believe the date from the picture, the camera is screwed up it was taken recently on my trip to genting)

And here:

From left to right (top): Jia Hong, Su Kai Shien (an idiot), and Kok Loong (the other 2 I don't really know well)
From left to right (middle): Yeong Shan, Ru Shen, Kenji, Wei Hong, Tee Yoong, Dexter and Justin
From left to right (bottom): Dan, Pei Chuen (PC), Jason, Mr. Norman, Me!, Faith and Ying Guo

To me the one's who can really be called as friends are, Kae Shiuh, Jia Hong, Yeong Shan, Wei Hong, Tee Yoong, Dan, Pei Chuen, and Faith.

Kae Shiuh: Likes to talk alot but fail to even attempt whatever he says but he's a nice guy alrite ^^
Jia Hong: Kae's best friend, very intelligent and hardworking (and very playful =D)
Yeong Shan: He's alrite, can be annoying at times
Wei Hong: The most dependable friend, he'll help if he can (actually all of the time he can) friendly and kind
Tee Yoong: A happy-go-lucky guy, we always chat bout gals =D
Dan: My closest buddy, and can be VERY annoying at times (currently in love with Mei Teng XD nah juz joking)
Pei Chuen: Like every normal chinese educated friends, shes hardworking, nice, kind, friendly and playful (especially when i'm around her, i'd make jokes which makes her laugh =P)
Faith: A very cute, nice, and a playful person, but shes very evil at times =P, currently studying in Canada

P.s: Faith was my crush =P, and to those who aren't in the pictures, it doesn't meant that yer not my friend, juz that I don't have yer pics :/

Chapter 2.2: The right decision?

2004-12-01T01:32:00.000+08:00

I finally got myself a job that i've always wanted to have, that is to be in a kitchen crew of a Japanese restaurant (although it's not an authentic restoran but heck, i can at least learn how to cook =D). Making 4 bugs per hour, working for 8~10 hours a day on weekdays. Well i'll start working tomorrow. But somehow i feel kinda guilty, i couldn't chat much with Angel as we can only chat online, then i decided that i should start calling her, but it seems that i can't start calling her yet as she hasn't gotten her cell-phone yet :/, yea its kinda sad though, but hey i'm trying my very best just to at least chat with her. I've decided to tell my mum to continue my medication towards my ACNE (at first i thought i wouldn't want to meet someone and all, i wanted to leave my ACNE alone as because i think of it as my sins towards people). I decided not to at least dissapoint Angel when she meets me in...... 5 years time? XD. On the other hand, Dan went back to his old self (which is good) and we spend time together with my other friends at Genting Highlands recently (which was REALLY REALLY fun) we did so much things together that we could not while we're with our parents and Nigel helped me out by drawing the picture above (yea the I Luv You Angel with the Angeling from RO picture) I really appreciate what he had done for me ^^. Well i'm glad that almost everything turned out smoothly and great, i hope it can keep going on till next year =D.

P.s: Angel darlin, it doesn't meant that i'm workin, i won't be contactin you.... i proved to you that while my monitor crashed, i went all the way out from my house to an internet cafe just to see you on, well this is basically just to tell you that i'll be thinkin of you before, after, and while i'm sleeping, i hope you can get your cell-phone as soon as possible, then we can contact each other via sms/phone, oh and if yer feeling lonely, just listen to the song i sent ya ;) hope it'll help ^^, will always luv ya ^^

Chapter 2.1: The gamble

2004-11-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

I asked Angel bout making this relationship last, she said yes she'll make it last, she wants it to last forever. It's sweet and nice, yet i told her she might find someone else in time as 5 years (minimum) is long enough to find other guys, but she still sticks to her decision and she told me that she won't look for other guys (well something like that XD). I'm kinda happy when i hear that, but actually thats not what I fear most, what I fear most is myself.... i'm afraid that it'll turn out the other way round, as in i'll meet someone else, fear that i'll dissapoint others,fear that she'll be with someone else, fear that I won't be able to keep my words. But i've made up my mind, IF she were to find another guy, as long as shes happy i'm already happy myself, love/like can't be forced as its something very sensitive to most of us and our lives. But till then, this is the gamble that i'm in, no matter how good or bad it turns out, I want her to know that i've vowed, i've vowed that no matter how our relationship turns out, we'll meet..... no matter what happens WE will, i'll do what it takes to do that even if its 5 years later. Till then, i'll be waiting for her...

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Why don't you,
Let me be with you?

Character 1: The soft hearted wolf

2004-11-23T01:31:00.000+08:00

Thats me! The guy in blue ^^ all the way to da left, not the one wearing spec's (its my mum)

Name: Daryl Lim Jia Tsen (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Kiddo, Dariee (in japanese)
Age: 16
D.O.B: August 31st 1988
Nationality: Malaysian
Starscope: Virgo
Hobby: Listening to anime s0ngs, creating meaningful quotes, playing online games with friends, watching anime, Collecting Final Fantasy Merchandise and many more XD.
Fav. Food: Most of the food actually XD
Fav. Drink: Coke *burp*
Fav. Song: Let Me Be With You (Round table featuring Nino)
Fav. Band: Linkin Park
Fav. Game: Final Fantasy Series and Ragnarok Online Malaysia
Fav. Quote: "I'll be your crying shoulders if you ever need one, i'll be the one listening to your grieves, i'll be the one sharing your pain, last but not least, i'll be the one to be there whenever you need someone"
"Dakara.....Dakara......Aishiteru..." (And so.... so...... i love you...)
Status: Currently In Love
Hopes: To be able to meet Angel, to be able to master my Japanese language, to be a successful game director (like Square Enix XD), to be able to live happily with my love ones, to live in Japan with Angel and live as long as i could to cherish every moment i'm with her
Currently: In love with Angel, and also finding a way to see her..... (currently waiting)

Note: I'm kinda egoistic whenever i'm with people, but i'm actually very soft myself ^^. I'll give everything up including my ego when/if i were to meet my one and only soul-mate.

P.s: Yea i don't like taking pictures of myself, this was my latest picture that was taken in Australia last summer in December 2003 ^^, neways new characters Biodata will be released later on ^^

Chapter 2: And life goes on....

2004-11-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

Lately i've been kinda lonely until i was playing RO, i've met this gal named Angel. We started our relationship off kinda awkward (lolz! by marrying each other in RO). Then later on, we started chatting through MSN and we got closer and closer as days goes by. She live's in Singapore (yea my country's neighbour) and shes 13 (hey when it comes into relationship, age is not a factor). Now she's in a school expedition and shes trying to get a phone to contact me as on the 26th November, i'm gonna start working full-time. For once, i felt very happy with my life, happy that finally i've found someone who doesn't care bout the looks, but what's inside (heck i thought i wouldn't even find). I told her many things that I wanted to tell my crush, and I showed her my picture, but she told me that looks does not matter to her. I've never thought that i would've encountered online relationship but i'm afraid that it might not turn out well, but this time i'm not gonna back down, after all the regrets and all, i'm gonna do my very best to make it last, even if i were to fail, i'll have no regrets.

Well the other is my close buddy daniel, lately after he started work he put working priority higher than friendship. Don't know why but I hate his attitude recently, kinda pissed of with him, always with this excuse "I juz came back from work la, im tired, i wanna sleep". This isn't the first though, he screwed Kae Shiuh up for our upcoming genting trip which is on the 23rd. We've planned this for a year+ yet now he told Kae Shiuh that he's not going for the trip, he'd rather work (you can see his msg's at the tag-board). For me its juz two words to describe this attitude, screwed up. And nah i don't plan to talk to him as he is no longer the Daniel i know and i'm kinda sick and tired of these things. He thinks he's already old enough to be independent saying that he doesn't want to depend on his parents and all (hey we're juz 16! not 20 ~.~) well i'll juz see how far he'll go then.

"It's better to know our limits as if we surpass them, we'll unintentionally hurt others" - A quote from the auther himself

This is quote is specially dedicated to Angel:
In my dreams,
you're an angel from above,
At my very eyes,
You're the one i love
-A quote from the auther himself

Chapter 1.3: Countless memories

2004-11-15T04:32:00.000+08:00

Most of us keeps something very important, even though no one understand to why it's so important . The very thing I treasure most is this :

It might look like an ordinary hand drawn picture, but to me its very meaningful. It reminds me countless memories of my past with my crush, we were so close back then. The things we do, the calls we make, our dreams, and more importantly the time i've spend with her ^^. Oh and just in case you didn't know, that picture is her drawing, she gave it to me as she knows i'm a big fan of Aeris Gainsborough (Final Fantasy 7). It's been with me for 2 years now, yet i still treasure it. But i have no intention of throwing it away (not till i die! XD), oh and not to mention shes one hell of an angel when she sings ^^ (i can never forget that voice) and she draws well too ^^. And i used to have this feeling that says, "I wanna hear her voice before, after and while i'm sleeping"

Chapter 1.2: Unforgiven Actions

2004-11-11T02:34:00.000+08:00

Well it started last year, ever since i've started to have known this girl named Christina, i've been chatting with her for quite sometime and our relationship as friends has been quite close coz either 1 of us will sms each other if we're bored, until i've heard that she has a crush on me from her friend Jolene. (well im a sensitive person and i take things seriously) Ever since then, i've been trying to avoid her, been rude to her and ignored her sms. (But the truth is, she never had [according to her]) And also a fact that i don't want anyone close to me to fall for me as i'm already stuck to someone (although im not her bf). Well i can say i've been quite bad to her until she send this e-mail to me,

daryl...
i think that this nonsense has to come to an end. i have done everything that is in my power to do. somehow or other, you don't see it. i'm sorry you can't accept it or accept me for who i am. i can't do something that is expected of me if i don't know what it is. And if you are going to act in such an immature manner, then i have to say i'm sorry and i wish i can wallow in your self-pitying state, but i'm not that kind of person. i've tried to befriend you in many ways. you don't appreciate it. it is not my fault.
this is the last straw. this is going to be my last attempt to befriend you. after this, it is your move. should you choose to reply this e-mail, you want to continue what is left of our friendship and let it grow again. if you want to send me an sms, you know my number. I'm leaving it at this. it's your move. the fate of our friendship lies solely in your hands.

chris & jo...... (lolz im still keeping this msg after a year)

And at that time, i replied to her via sms, saying that i think that we should juz act like we don't know each other (well i guess im wrong here). Then right after that sms, her sis (outta nowhere) send me an sms saying that Chris is now crying just becoz of wat i've send to her. After having a lil conversation with her elder sis, i've regretted wat i've replied in the sms. Then later on i tried smsing her from there on, but she didn't reply after wat i did to her.

Well Christina (don't wanna call u Chris as it sounds like a guy rather than a gal) I'm sorry if i've hurt ur feelings back then, i know saying sorry wouldn't do nething, but if you want to hear it from myself, i'll tell you myself. Sorry bout my ego back then, well i guess TIME do change people, but hey IF you're reading it, im saying sorry from the bottom of my heart (plz don't get any wrong ideas)

Chapter 1.1: Regrets

2004-11-08T14:41:00.000+08:00

Lately after experiencing working life, i can imagine how my parents work everyday (even though i'm a part-timer, but i can imagine being a full-timer). I've also realized how rude I am to my mum lately. Even though i'm rude to her, she give's me cash whenever i'm going out with my friends even though she is nearly broke. Thinking of my attitude towards her lately makes my so disgusted. Now i'm gonna change myself to lighten her burden and at the same time make her happy although by just being obedient and not to cause troubles (which i hardly cause). And also she could die anytime as i'm typing due to her serious illness... (well i don't know whats the illness is called, but i know that it can kill her anytime and it can't be cured). Well to all readers, appreciate your love ones, don't be like me, regrets are almost part of our life's, but lucky me that my mum is still alive now that i'm regretting.

Friends blog ^^

2004-11-03T14:11:00.000+08:00

To all readers, if you're interested in reading another blog, here's Kil's blog http://erickbp.blogspot.com (to those who doesn't know whois kil, u can check out Characters). Although his english is a lil weak, but hey at least u guys can understand ^^", and also u guys can go through my links also to reach to his blog

Chapter 1: Unforgotten memories

2004-11-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

I can't believe how time passes you with a blink of an eye, i've quitted my job, met new people at the same time, my school results came out. Well, sad to say i failed almost all of my subjects except English ~.~. During last saturday after the goodbyes to Jane, Jess, June (they treat me like their younger brother at the same time i treat them as my elder sisters during work ^^), Michael, Harris, John (these people are the nicest people in my workplace ^^) and also Eddy (one of the most pervert guy working with me and also the most caring person to me ever since i've started working ^^") i feel happy and at the same time sad. Later on that night, Michael told me that he too gonna quit tomorrow, going to go to Las Vegas working as a casino guy (not too sure wat the job is called). Then a week before, Claire read my blog and she told me that i've wasted my one and only chance (she's reffering to "Prologue"), I told her yea i did blow up big time, but regretting won't do a thing. I told her "heck it doesn't really matter now ^^". But to me, heck i'm not desperate after all, but still it was a happy yet painful memory ^^. After all I did juz to get this ---><--- close to get my crush. This is how it all started 2 years ago, firstly i start to call her like 24/7 (lolz! i was VERY eager back then) or i'll sms then we'll start talking on the phone (at that time I called her even during midnitez). And theres this time, Trisha dared me to confess to her that i like my crush in front of her, i told her i'll do juz that at that same day. On that day itself, i forgotten all about it until midnite on that very nite, she called my phone and Trisha answered it (since i was sleeping like a pig). Then Trisha asked her if she wants to talk to me, then she refused since she knew that i was sleeping (but Trisha woke me up after all). Chatted with her on the phone for 1 hour then i remembered the dare Trisha dared me. I confess in front of my sister while talking to my crush on the phone (I didn't confess juz because its a dare, but its because i really do like her, even if its not a dare sooner or later i'd be telling her myself) <------- was in "like sick" (not love sick XD) at that time. After that day, we were more closer than before. At the end of the year, I felt like i've been disturbing her lately by calling her 24/7, so i decided to stop calling her 24/7 <------- huge mistake a VERY huge mistake. Then ever since I stop calling her 24/7, well this is the result, we rarely talked (we'll only talk if theres anything important to talk about). This is how actually it ended *knocks head on wall* as in not close anymore, not calling each other during midnitez and all. But hey its my own fault not to make that move. Hmph I guess this is it for the first chapter ^^ till then keep reading!

P.S: Hey Marcus, she was the right one but i don't think i'm da right one for her and also its juz that im dumb enough not to make my move. To all readers, if you have any comments please e-mail me at squall_rinoa38@hotmail.com or you can add me through msn, i'm always online ^^

"Sorry guys, but this is my story!" (Adapted from Final Fantasy X)

Characters!

2004-10-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

Well this is basically the people who're in my story

Daryl = Me
Trevor = My brother
Marcus = My cousin who lives in Australia (and also who motivates me to make this blog ^^)
Trisha = My sister
Colin = Sister's fiance
Dan = My closest friend
Kae Shiuh, Dexter, Jia Hong, Eddy, June = Most of em are my friends, the rest are my working friends
Ah Kit, Kil, Lexie, Claire, Phil, Hoohaa = My close online friends
Most of them haven't appeared yet, but sooner or later they will.
The rest of em are either people i don't know or either im just lazy to write em down XD (and they're some thats private ^^)

Prologue: Begining of a new life

2004-10-24T19:10:00.000+08:00

After going through with my "previous" life and even though my crush has left for Canada, i've been going on a new life, being promoted as a president of my school's taekwondo club, started off working to get my arse to japan next year, studies had dropped lately ~.~, met new people, discover the harshness of life and whats more important, my relationship with my friends and family. On the nite before "she" left for the plane, me, Trevor, Trisha and also Colin went there to bid her farewell. I didn't even plan on seeing her after sending her the sms, i was just too shy (lolz what a wuss i am XD).Well its because i know i don't have a chance (well basically coz she likes a guy mainly on the looks) and also its all my sisters plan, before we went there, our family went on to watch a movie, then later on my sis gave me a crazy idea, that is to bid her farewell. At first my dad said no, then later on he asked me "isn't that your friend Daryl?". Bah.... i didn't plan to go but was force by both my sis and dad ~.~. When we reached there, me and my sis fought (not physically but mentally) i was kinda pissed with her attitude, but wouldn't want to tell her off or something like that (sisters ~.~). Then after 5 mins, i bid to my crush farewell, then she hugged me (shes been trying to hug me ever since her birthday, but i ran XD but i didn't ran this time, i was stuck). Then my sister came, with her sulky face (after fighting both me and her fiance). Later on we went back home silently, without even speaking a word to each other, just "bye and thanks for the ride Colin". And thats the "Prologue" of my story!

Work

2004-10-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

Well today is one helluva tiring day, at 2.30pm i attend to my japanese class, its the last day for my advance class. Then later before the class ended, my sensei (teacher) told me that the advance 2nd class will start next week (just when i thought i could've gotten rest to study back during those times). Then right after that, i went to my work place, same people i see most of the day, and yea working isn't easy and also it isn't really as fun as u see in the movies, its tiring and can also be boring at times, but hey im working my arse off just to get to japan next year T_T. Well as im typing now, im already back home from work, and tomorrow's another day of work (11.30am~10pm). Guess this is it, well gtg play RO XD till then cya!

Oral test

2004-10-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

Today is somehow a tiring day, but also an enjoyable one ^^, i went to school only today because of my oral test, which is for my upcoming test next year. After finishing my oral test, the whole form 4 was invited to this college, well the lecture was boring and all, but me and meh fwens were makin fun out of da lecturer (he was dancing as if he's been doing it all his life XD). Then later on, i was thinkin the promise that Candice ask me to make which is, if we're both were to be single at the age of 60, we'll marry each other (lolz!). Although its kinda wierd from a girl that i hardly chat and also a girl that i've never met (yet), i laugh whenever i think about it (although i didn't say i promise). And yea life goes on, typing wat really happened today, till then wait till the next episode! =P

My first post!

2004-10-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

Well i'm starting off this blog because my cousin reckon me (Marcus), and umph i'll try to type as often as i can to keep most of you who're interested in my life, wats currently happening now. Well got nothing more to say, thx for visiting by the way