Chapter 4.2: Shinu wa nani (What is death?)

Today, one of my dogs died... I felt kinda sad... at the same time happy for him... as while he was still alive, he spent most of his time in the cage as if we let him out, he'll start doing his business everywhere and start messing the place around. Chico was his name... normally every morning he'll bark and always had annoyed me as I am sleeping (lolz). He was a very active dog right to the very end.. last night he was barking for food... and I was the one who fed him last night. As usual he'd always move around the cage barking me to hurry up and give him his food (lolz). As when I wake up this morning not knowing anything, I called my sister to asked her why'd she call me as I received a missed call from her. She then told me that Chico had died, being blur as I was just awake, I said "Yeah...." then I said "WHAT!!!???" I got a shock, so I went to check and there he was... in his cage lying down there not moving. I was there... I kept calling him as I kept telling myself "No... he's not dead... he's just sleeping...right...?" but then I started to accept the harsh reality... Then I went back to the phone and asked Trisha how'd he died, she told me she doesn't know... but I suspected that he died due to age. Trisha asked me to burry him together with her later on... even as i'm typing now, Chico is still behind at my kitchen in his cage... Then one of the questions that i've always asked came to me again, asking "When will it be my time?" as I know life is short... today you might see me and tommorow you might not. This reminds me, to those who've read my outbox through my handphone, there is this message with just numbers in it... It's not a reservation number or something like that... It's a reminder... A reminder to remind me how many more days i've left... It's to make sure that I make use of the time i'm left in case anything were to happen to me. And also to anyone whois close to me reading this... if anything were to happen to me, please tell my family about this blog. So that they know how much i've loved them... let them know my dreams... my aim... my hopes... and the deeds that i've done behind their backs... no matter what happens... i'll always be with them. I might had told them that I have hated them and all but of course I didn't meant a single of those harsh words that I had used on them. But I love them no matter what... and also I want to be remembered as the person I was. I don't know how you guys will judge me for who I am, but I do think that the personality quiz for bleach characteristics is true about me... caring, curious, strong, wise and good hearted. I feeling kind of emotional now, can't continue typing... well hopefully anyone of you who are close to me can inform my family members about this blog if anything were to happen to me. And also, hopefully Chico, you can rest in peace, till we meet again...

"To be forgotten is a fate worst than death" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi and Vash