Chapter 3.6: The time is now!

I guess its my time now, i've already tried to end this little misery I had with Dan and Jess but it seems that Jess doesn't like it (Well before I start off, most of the conversation are NOT 100% exact to what they or me says, so don't say i'm assuming). Well i've asked them both out during tuition to make things clear. Waited and listened to what they have to say while drinking and eating, then Jess started saying "Hey i've read your blog and it hurts me... about the things you think" while I was just keeping quiet, listening to what she has to say. She was saying that shes sorry that she had hurt me and all. Then later on she said "I'd do anything including not being with Dan to make both of you back as close friends as before", I then told her "No, even if you are or not, it won't make any differences, I DON'T CARE anymore" really I do. Then the conversation kept going until she walked away crying while Dan was still sitting there. So I told him "Hey you'd better go and check her out" he then asked me "You don't mind?" (What kind of STUPID question is that? Which girl wouldn't want a guy to go after her? ~.~). I then replied "I told you I DON'T CARE anymore" (after all, i'm not their father or something like that ~.~). Then he went for her (~.~) while I was about to eat. Then later on, Dan came back to the table, I asked him "She cried?" he then showed me his shirt thats a little wet, which showed that she did. We chatted a little, he bring up this thing about wacking him, he asked me to punch him as a friend, but I said "No! Because if I were to do that, i'll just end up making Hong and Kae Shiuh sad and also, i'm acting the way I was remembered by someone special to me and living that way but don't worry, its not Jess ^^" he then keep quiet. Then a few minutes later she came back along with Christina and Amanda. Both Dan and Jess were quiet whilst Christina and Amanda was asking me a lot of questions like, "Why'd you not be close friends back with Dan?" and many more similiar questions which kept going on, well thats until I brought up saying that "Both of them are dead to me now, and now, they're just normal friends, to me Dan is just my school friend and Jess is just a tuition friend to me, nothing much more than that anymore" Jess was pissed at what I said and she told me off saying "You're SELFISH!!!" and I replied calmly "Yes! Yes I am!" while I kept to myself saying "How about YOU? It has always been YOU hasn't it? What YOU want... Who's being selfish now? How about friggin ME? Heck to you, I think there is NO ME after all i've been through for YOU, i've got nothing but pain, so why must I do things the way YOU want it to be?". Then she walked away and this time with Dan. And also before this I told Dan that, from now on DON'T come to me if he needs someone to talk to, he knows best who to go to. So then the debating started out between me Christina and Amanda (oh trust me, they're VERY persistent, but hey i've made it through). Well it went on until they said "Alright then, at least think about what we said..." well basically they're also trying to make all 3 of us to be as it is before, but I told them "After what happened, its impossible looking it that way, after being through stuff like this, I... just can't..." and later on I told them that I appreciate what they're trying to do, really I do but I told them that I think that things is better the way it already is. We then decided to head back to the tuition not knowing where Dan and Jess went, we found out that they were there. Well the class went well and they seem happy sitting together talking, like I said, things are better the way it is, i'm not involved in their lives anymore and so are they whether they liked it or not. At that night, I talked to my sis about it saying how regretful I was doing all those things for her, i've pushed both physically and mentally to the extreme and what exactly for, to get hurt was the conclusion. But Rachel's words made me realised something... She told me "Be sad once and be stronger next". And as usual nowadays, I wasn't able to sleep until the it reaches 3~4am (~.~) thinking about the things that happened to me. Well for the first time today, Hong actually spoke to me seriously, trying to cheer me up today (which he always does lolz). Then we went to our normal hangout in SS2 together along with Kae Shiuh, Guan Shern, Swee Loong, Jian Yet, Yeong Shan, Hong Chun, Nigel, Terence, Pak Sun and Kenny (a big group, I know =D). Played a few games of DotA which felt so much more relieved, then later on we all said goodbye except that me and Kae Shiuh was going back together, i've asked Kae Shiuh about what should I do, he then told me don't do anything about it, leave it as it is. Then it got to me, I know that i've already tried my best but they don't like the result I gave them, so what the heck. I'm not that bothered by it anymore. I guess this is it and Chapter 4 will be on my birthday =D (having crazy thoughts about what I should do on/before that day with my friends)

P.S: I really want to thank Hong and Kae Shiuh for trying to cheer me up, honestly I appreciate what you guys are doing and it helps ^^

"Your time is up, my time is now, you can't see me, my time is NOW!" - John Cena - The time is now