Chapter 5.3: Sonna jinsei ga ii no? (Is that kind of life alright?)

Recently, i've realised that my dad had some changes. I noticed it when I was using his computer in his room when he was still sleeping. In a way, he looked like a small kid but the sad part is that I realised that he look old.... as in OLD. I've so far didn't posted anything about my dad before, so I thought it'd be nice to post it now. Well we'll start from when he was young (XD my dad had never told me about his past until recently). My dad came from one of the most powerful families in Klang. Amongst the families that I remembered, my dad told me that the Yeoh, Lim, Ng, Lee and many more are so powerful, that during his childhood, even the police wouldn't dare to touch any of them without asking permission from the head family. How did my dad's family earned that much power? Well it all started from my great grandpa, which is my father's grandfather. He was the most kindest person in Klang where, whenever he sees a poor person without a cloth or something like that, he'll bring that person into the car, send that person to a hospital and then buy for him clothes and give him some money to survive on the streets. Basically he was famous because of him doing so many charity work... At this part, this is where I kinda respected my great grandpa. But even though he is kind to the community, he has never give a single cent to any of his childrens, this is where I disrespect him. As for my grandfather, he earned his power by stopping a major gang fight in Klang where the malays wanted to bring out a war with the chinese in Klang, even now, that chinese gang still exists here in KL as I know, they're called as "Sap pat" (18 in cantonese). He became a representative for that gang to have a negotiation to bring peace in Klang. Also my grandpa was one of the top 10 mens in Malaysia for selling rubber (if im not mistaken). Likewise, this is the part where I respected my grandpa. But like father and son, they both neglected their children. My grandpa separated with my grandma, and is now living with my step grandma. The way I see it, he only thinks about that step grandma more than his family, and recently after coming down to Malaysia, I kinda dislike him. Just because he left home for 3 weeks, he said he missed his wife and blablabla. Then I thought "WHAT ARE WE TO YOU THEN!!!!??? ARE WE NOT YOUR FAMILY!!!!???". During his birthday dinner that we had after he saying that he had left and missed his wife, I told him "Family is important to me". Then to my surprise, almost everyone was looking at me, auntie Paris said "Yeah! He is right". My dad even told me how awful the beatings he get when he was young from my grandpa, strip in front of the public in school, and then wack him with a cane. I can imagine the embarrasment... What kind of father is that? Sometimes I wondered, why my dad still calls him "Dad" after all those things he does to him, I guess I wouldn't know till I be one. My grandpa even forced my dad to marry my step auntie and he had not acknowledged me, Trevor and Trisha as his grandchildren as he disliked my mum and had not approved my father's marriage with my mum. But then the price they had to pay was to lose their wealth and fame. My dad said that the downfall for his family was because firstly, his father and his grandpa had never trusted their own sons, and also its because of their younger brothers. This is where my dad is afraid of. He said 2 generations in his family tree had been repeating because of their younger brothers, the older one had suffered. I do know that Trevor lacks attention and he wants the attention. That is why, whenever I go out with my friends, I don't want to bring him because I know their reactions. This is through observation, I realised that Guan Shern and Dan don't really like my brother around because of his childishness and sometimes lame. To me, I think they had not experienced nor seen how much he struggled throughout his life just to get acknowledged. I had been there before.... I knew how lonely it was, and how hungry you get just for attention. Whenever I think about my brother's situation, I somehow tend to cry... even though he is slow at thinking also can be lame and childish at times, I do know that those are the only time when he could actually be himself. Thats why I don't really want him to come along as I don't want him to feel unwanted with them there. His situation is exactly like Naruto in the beggining, he had no friends and no one to acknowledge him. Also I do know that he respects me alot because of my achievements in life so far, even though i'm always cold towards him. I gotta admit, he worries me more than Trisha. So far my life is rough nowadays, tonnes of homeworks and assignments. Got to know about her more. Been planning on my Japan trip this coming April with my college mates. I think that a homestay will be the best option. Me and Eric Leong had agreed that we both wanted to stay in an open hot spring resort (XD all guys are perverts =P). College is fun but at the same time stressful also I somehow admired the voice acting of Suou Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, the voice actor's voice is so unique. One last thing, I wanna prove to Nigel that i'm different, so far the animes that made me cry is Naruto and I"s Pure (=P). Aite I think thats about it look forward for the next post~~~ Till then sayounara~~!!

P.s: This quote written below is said when Trevor was rushed to the hospital in school Year 2005, I was in tears =/

"Trevor, I want you to promise me one thing, don't die on me....." - Daryl (a.k.a ) Vash, Urameshi Kiddo and Wiegraf