Chapter 4.2: Shinu wa nani (What is death?)

Today, one of my dogs died... I felt kinda sad... at the same time happy for him... as while he was still alive, he spent most of his time in the cage as if we let him out, he'll start doing his business everywhere and start messing the place around. Chico was his name... normally every morning he'll bark and always had annoyed me as I am sleeping (lolz). He was a very active dog right to the very end.. last night he was barking for food... and I was the one who fed him last night. As usual he'd always move around the cage barking me to hurry up and give him his food (lolz). As when I wake up this morning not knowing anything, I called my sister to asked her why'd she call me as I received a missed call from her. She then told me that Chico had died, being blur as I was just awake, I said "Yeah...." then I said "WHAT!!!???" I got a shock, so I went to check and there he was... in his cage lying down there not moving. I was there... I kept calling him as I kept telling myself "No... he's not dead... he's just sleeping...right...?" but then I started to accept the harsh reality... Then I went back to the phone and asked Trisha how'd he died, she told me she doesn't know... but I suspected that he died due to age. Trisha asked me to burry him together with her later on... even as i'm typing now, Chico is still behind at my kitchen in his cage... Then one of the questions that i've always asked came to me again, asking "When will it be my time?" as I know life is short... today you might see me and tommorow you might not. This reminds me, to those who've read my outbox through my handphone, there is this message with just numbers in it... It's not a reservation number or something like that... It's a reminder... A reminder to remind me how many more days i've left... It's to make sure that I make use of the time i'm left in case anything were to happen to me. And also to anyone whois close to me reading this... if anything were to happen to me, please tell my family about this blog. So that they know how much i've loved them... let them know my dreams... my aim... my hopes... and the deeds that i've done behind their backs... no matter what happens... i'll always be with them. I might had told them that I have hated them and all but of course I didn't meant a single of those harsh words that I had used on them. But I love them no matter what... and also I want to be remembered as the person I was. I don't know how you guys will judge me for who I am, but I do think that the personality quiz for bleach characteristics is true about me... caring, curious, strong, wise and good hearted. I feeling kind of emotional now, can't continue typing... well hopefully anyone of you who are close to me can inform my family members about this blog if anything were to happen to me. And also, hopefully Chico, you can rest in peace, till we meet again...

"To be forgotten is a fate worst than death" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi and Vash

Chapter 4.1: Touwaku... (Confused...)

It seems that lately, i've been lazy to post any entries (sorry guys!). SPM is just tommorow and i'm already in a tight situation. Well I had been studying for only maths lately (lolz!) , as if maths was the only subject I took for SPM. I guess its because I don't wanna fail my maths teacher, even though i've hated her... but heck at least I didn't treat her as Dan did. Talking bout him, it seemed like life had been great for him, well good for him. After this incident, my sister had always been bugging me to do something bad to him (~.~). She also asked me about "her" appearance as she wanted to do something to "her" too. But of course I did not told her about it and told her to forget about it. Then a few days back then, we talked bout stuff, until she brought up this quote "Daryl... One thing about me, you and Trevor is that we're a very loyal peoples", I guess she's right about it and then she asked me to go for Kelvin's friends and she told me to make my options wider as I only prefer girls who're nice, kind, cute in both speaking and/or appearance/attitude sense, understanding, truthful, speaks her mind, caring, commited,(yea I know what you guys think lolz) soft and lastly loyal... Well I don't need to explain both nice and kind as its common sense (lolz), cute as in the way she acts and speaks, understanding in different situations, because they're most things that people don't understand one and another, I know its hard to find these type of people... but i'm trying, truthful... well this one is a must, I FRIGGIN HATE SLUTS THAT USES PEOPLE AND THEN GO FOR THEIR FRIGGIN FRIENDS! Well that one I think I made my point (lolz), speaks her mind... hmph always telling me how she feels, tell me her thoughts, favourite stuff and others rather than hinting it i prefer a straightforward person (=D) rather than giving me bullshits. Caring... nothing much to say (lolz). Commited... more like... "I WON'T TAKE ANY BULLSHITS FROM YOU, IT'S EITHER YOU'RE WITH ME FOR WHO I AM OR GET LOST!". Soft in a sense of the way she speaks, hmph not rough but just soft words (well thats if you get what I meant lolz!). Well loyal is the most important one I guess, most people seem to have "another" people in their life, which I think that they're not truthful with the person they're currently with. I guess thats the reason why i'm "still" single ever since (lolz). Now I kinda missed my old online friends, Ah Kit, Claire, Eric, Lexie and Azwandi, lately I hardly see them online and they're busy getting ready for stuffs... Now i've got a new close online friend named Azizi, well we met through Blueserver and we've been close ever since, hes also taking SPM. Then a few days ago, Rachel chatted with me till I brought up about my blog stuff, she told me that I made a brave decision of "dumping" both of 'em outta my life. Don't really get what she meant but I think I kinda starting to understand. I guess this is it, gotta continue studying (@.@). Look forward for the next chapter ya! Benkyou tsuzukemasho! (Continue studying!)

"One thing about us is that.... we're loyal people... and yet we always get hurt."
"I know... i'm still searching... searching for 'Chii'..."
"If you find her... tell me all about her"
"Zettai... Korewa watashi ni anatano yakusoku!"
(Absolutely... This is my promise to you!")
- Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Vash to Trisha