Chapter 5.2: Ano kurushii kimochi... wakaruyo... (Than painful feeling... I know how it feels...)

Everything has progressed as normal.... go to college, come back from college, do account's homework, play blueserver then sleep. Well this chapter's main purpose isn't talking about me though... well just a few days back, someone who I don't think that will come back, came back to my life. I won't tell who it is, because I want to respect her privacy too. Well it all started when I was watching anime (as usual), then out of a sudden, I received a message from her in msn, saying that she changed her handphone number. So then I replied to her and chat abit till I realised that most of the replies had something familiar about it. She then started to ask about my life, whether I have any special girlfriends and etc. Then it came to me that somehow... she still has feelings for me. So I asked her to answer me honestly... and she answered yes, that she still has feelings for me. Clearing that doubt of mine, she then wants my answer... but I couldn't give her the answer... due to some complications that we both have... So I told her that due to the complications that we had, I don't want her to torture herself because of this, so I told her that its better that we don't be together. Unexpectedly... she said that she'd wait for me, in a way, I was kinda happy because no one has ever said or even want to wait for such a jerk that I already am. But still I told her not to, because... I knew how it felt... Because I once did that, and all I did was just torturing myself. At that time, I was always worried. Worried whether she'll talk to me, worried that she has a special boyfriend and worried that if I were to confess again, I'd get rejected or not. Basically that was the worries I had... and I do know well those feelings... It hurts so much... But still, she wants to wait for me... It almost seemed like she is determined to go through whatever it takes just to be with me... at this point... I felt like a bastard. So then almost everyday i'd sms her to check how she is doing instead of doing things the way I used to, which is to ignore that person, block her contact and so on... but I didn't... because I do know that if I were to do that, it'll hurt her more. Its almost like we're both in 2 different worlds but we want to be together... In fact I do have feelings for her, but its for her own good due to our complications. I told her "What if while you're waiting, I already have someone else later?" she then replied, "I'm fine with it, just as long as you tell me that you're with that someone rather than dragging me along without me knowing". At this point... I felt like killing myself (lolz). Even so, i'm trying to understand her more day by day by smsing her. To get to know her better in a way. Also just to make some things clear its NOT Jess, i'll never even talk to such a slut. Her birthday is coming soon and I WANT to get for her something... but i'm soooo broke that I can't get her a birthday gift which makes me feel soooo darn bad (~.~). Aite this is about it, this post had nothing much to it though, well till then sayounara~~!!

"Why is life so cruel to us?" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo and Vash

Chapter 5.1: Taisetsuna nakama... ka? (Treasured friend... huh?)

It's been quite sometime since I last saw PC (Pei Chuen) till recently her birthday when she celebrated it. We kinda promised to meet each other again and finally met after 7 months. Her birthday party was better than last year and has much more people. Adrian (Ngeok Hong), Tee Yoong, Choo Yang, Chea Hwey, Chea Teng, Hong, Wayne and many more were there celebrating her birthday (don't really remember the names of the others). Amongst all of the girlfriends that I have in school, I'm more closer to her than anyone else and she is the MOST richest girlfriend I have (XD). Well she lives in Country Heights, which is said to be where all the rich people lives and after being there 4 times already, I knew why. The houses there are all like... houses you'd dream of. And her house is huge... even though she is rich, she's quite humble and has never bragged about her family's wealth. Well we started off playing "Chor Tai Tee", another version of poker, the chinese style. Then a few hours later, we started off barbequeing. Then this is the part where I realised how much PC thought of me. Tee Yoong started talking about DotA and we decided to leave the place early and head over to SS2 to have a match of DotA. So with his idea, and which involved me, Hong and him wanted to leave early. She then got upset over it. At first I was saying to myself "Huh? Why is she so upset over it? I meant we DID came to her party, we DID give her a present.... Then what is she so upset about?". Wayne later on told us that he'll try and convince her to let us go. Then later on Tee Yoong started to ask us to dare him, to see if he can float using 2 of the baby floats from one side to the other side of the pool of PC's house for an hour in an internet cafe. So I said "Alright! You're on!". Knowing that it is impossible for those baby floats to float, we knew that he is gonna fall into the pool. Then later on, PC came along with Wayne to watch what was going on and then we waited and waited and waited, but still no progress from Tee Yoong as he still didn't get himself on the float and float in the pool. Wayne then went near him as he was trying to get into the pool with float and pushed him in (XD ROFLMAO!). Then it made her happy and she came up with a..... "Bright" idea (~.~). She said that if we were to leave, we have to get wet into the pool, being KICKED by her (lolz). I'll kinda fast forward this part as it is a long story, so me, Hong and Tee Yoong were in the pool, I was the only one who got kicked by PC and I carried and did an F-U onto Hong tossing him into the pool. And in the end after leaving without eating the cake, I just realised that PC was mad because, she wants us to be there with her until the party ends as by the way she reacts to us when we wanted to go for SS2, I guess its because she thinks of us as an important friend thats why she reacted that way. And also in the end, we ended up not going anywhere and went back home. Oh yeah, we bought for her a cute lil handbag which we found at "Teddy Tales" also, she is STILL with Wayne. That shows how lucky they both are.... to find each other like soul mates.... the only thing I envy them is because of this.... Wayne has been with PC for almost... 3~5 years (i'm not sure as i'm not a busybody) and the thing about them is that, they're both loyal to each other. I guess it IS kinda hard to find people loyal to one another of the opposite sex. Well just yesterday before watching "The Break-Up" with Dan, Jiann Yet, Hong Chun, Guan Shern and Terry, we went to have a small bite at "All Stars". At that time, it was only me, Dan and Jiann Yet who went and have a drink there. So then I saw Kak Ina, Kak Fizah, Kak Puteri, Simon and Mr. Ricky (manager). To cut it short, Kak Ina was so nice to had cut my drink, French Fries, Hash Browns and Nachos off the receipt. And the overall price we eat there was just RM11.50 which only includes the drinks that Dan and Jiann Yet drink. I thank god as I had not enough cash and so happen Kak Ina close an eye as this is my first time eating there after quitting there. Hong Chun, Terry and Guan Shern didn't get to enjoy the food we ate for free (XD) and Hong Chun was kinda pissed because of that. My birthday is coming soon and I wonder whether it'd be a nice birthday as I had not been kinda pleased with my previous birthdays. I want to celebrate my birthday but.... I'm kinda broke.... and celebrating it will cost me hundreds of ringgits.... Most probably this year will be as last year's birthday.... A quiet birthday celebrated by myself (~.~ sad eh?). Alright I think thats it for now, sayounara~~!

"I believe that someday... I will find you... and I hope on that day, you'd be the best present i'll ever have for my birthday" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi, Kiddo and Vash