Thursday, November 08, 2007

Chapter 6.3: Mou kimetanda! (Its decided!)

1 month after coming back from my Japan trip, I felt more stressful than ever. Trevor's been a friggin pain in the arse, studies are cramming and I contacted Sabrina back. Starting off with Trevor, he recently drove the Kancil illegally all the way to PJ and caused an accident. And THANKS to that, my dad started to scold me saying "You see? Its because you don't drive him out, this is what he does" blaming everything onto me. When I was at his age, whenever I were to go out with friends, I would take the public transport, so that I wouldn't trouble my parents. That's not the end of it, even after the accident, he sneaked out taking my dad's car out. Today, he calls my mum and bugged her to drive him out, so that he can meet with his friends. I drove all the way from KLIA to USJ to meet my sick grandma after sending my dad to the airport. Then because of his call, I am FORCED to go back home for his selfish request. So then I came back and yelled at him saying "If you're not gonna change your friggin childish attitude, DON'T call me your brother!". It is a fact that in my father's family history, that the younger brother will always be the troublemaker for the elder ones. Even if he has no money to go out by himself, then how the hell does he get the money to spend on ciggarettes? If he did not spend on the ciggarettes, he could already go out by himself and be MUCH MORE independent. I've decided that if it really comes to it, I WILL abandon him even if he IS my brother. I won't do the same mistakes that my dad and grandfather does. My uncle used to pull my dad's leg, causing him troubles and problems. As for me, I won't take this bullshit, even if its my brother. I don't want to end up like my father used to, struggled all because of his brother. Every friggin time i'm being blamed for his mistakes. I'm sick and tired of all this crap. Studies now are also pain in the butt.... especially Ms. Nally's presentation. Its alright having Franny and Siti, but then Amreed as my group member? Amreed is a lazy sikh who causes problems and always thinks that his perception is the right one. He already caused problem for Eric in the previous semester and this semester I am with him for 2 different groups including Mr. David's assignment. It is really stressful to do groupworks with him especially. Well the good thing is that I contacted Sabrina back, and am somehow happy about it. She seems to be doing well and she told me that her engagement failed, as for the reason, I didn't asked why as I think it surely is personal. Its nice to chat with her, but I wouldn't want to get too close with her. Even though I said that I would go for her, but if I were accepted to study in the Institute in Japan, I would be gone for quite sometime that is exactly why. To me, persuing my dreams is much more important than my love life for now. She somehow wants to see me and had been asking me out lately, but most of the time I rejected her offer because of that reason. But today, I will go out with her to one of her friend's open house for Deepavali celebration and she wants me to use 1 car as in just go with her car even though I said I will most probably have to go back early. As for now i'm just hoping she has no crazy thoughts as I would not want to hurt her feelings again. How I wish I AM still in Japan, this kind of problems would not occur to me. I miss Okaa-san's cooking, drinking with Otoo-san, teaching Chisako-san english, playing with Arito-kun and Sota-kun, and teaching Mikiko-san and Yuji-san "Chor Dai Di". But running away won't do any good, haveta accept the reality that i'm in. I'll get to know if i'm accepted in this coming December and if I am accepted, I will definitely change.

"I will not tolerate people who pulls me down" - Daryl (a.k.a) Wiegraf, Urameshi Kiddo and Vash