Chapter 2.4: The coward

I just came back from my taekwon-do tourney, this time without a gold medal (heck we fought against people older than us by 7~10 years) but we tried our best. I've always been condemnming my brother, but when it comes into certain things, we always support each other. Earlier yesterday, our team was close to the finals but before that, we haveta face a very tough team (yea they're from Kedah). First round Tek Liong (a black belt) helped us to spar but still we lost, then the second one my brother went to fight against the same belt as his yet he drew, then for the third one I was sparring (yea with their weakling) I won, then the last round... the most fearsome opponent, his size was huge and he's kinda tall, all 4 of us were scared of him except for that one person. And that one person was my brother himself, he then sparred with courage that 4 of us don't have, but he lost. Even though we lost, it made me realize one important thing, yea that is that i've been a coward... always fought the weak ones unlike my brother, he has the courage that I don't. Then earlier today, he sparred couragely but we still lost, but he was injured. His opponent (20+ years old) kicked his balls, yea his balls too hard that his muscles all cramped and he couldn't move at all. We sent him to the hospital due to the lack of medical officers, from that moment on, I was afraid... afraid to lose a brother that i've been raised with. He was grieving in pain yet I couldn't do a thing for him... i felt so darn useless, so useless that i felt like its better if i'm not his brother... Then after half an hour in the hospital, he was back to normal, just that he needs rest and all, that really made me relief. From here on, i'm gonna be serious about the things i do, i've made up my mind on my ambitions that is to be either a doctor, game director or a movie director (I chose doctor so that i could help others, and also so that I wouldn't feel useless in those type of situations), instead of earning $$$ working, i've made up my mind on going for tuitions for all my subjects, I wanna keep my target of becoming the first guy in the whole family to be a University graduate, improve my japanese language, and to at least... meet Angel ^^. I'm targetting straight A's for my upcoming exam which is next year (although i've NEVER get more than 1A in an exam). Now that i've got targets, it will keep me going, and also not to be a COWARD that i'm already am on every situations, I wanna have that courage that my brother has and yea even though i condemn him with my words... the truth is I love him ^^, its just that the ego thats stopping it all. Working is out of my mind temporary, now i'm concentrating on both my taekwon-do and my studies, not to forget, i'm waiting for Angel to get her phone, so that i'd be able to contact her via sms/phone rather than online which is very hard. Till then, wait for da next chapter!

"Courage is not shown everytime, it'll somehow come to you when the situation is right, then only will the individual understands the true meaning of COURAGE" - Daryl