Chapter 3.6: The time is now!

I guess its my time now, i've already tried to end this little misery I had with Dan and Jess but it seems that Jess doesn't like it (Well before I start off, most of the conversation are NOT 100% exact to what they or me says, so don't say i'm assuming). Well i've asked them both out during tuition to make things clear. Waited and listened to what they have to say while drinking and eating, then Jess started saying "Hey i've read your blog and it hurts me... about the things you think" while I was just keeping quiet, listening to what she has to say. She was saying that shes sorry that she had hurt me and all. Then later on she said "I'd do anything including not being with Dan to make both of you back as close friends as before", I then told her "No, even if you are or not, it won't make any differences, I DON'T CARE anymore" really I do. Then the conversation kept going until she walked away crying while Dan was still sitting there. So I told him "Hey you'd better go and check her out" he then asked me "You don't mind?" (What kind of STUPID question is that? Which girl wouldn't want a guy to go after her? ~.~). I then replied "I told you I DON'T CARE anymore" (after all, i'm not their father or something like that ~.~). Then he went for her (~.~) while I was about to eat. Then later on, Dan came back to the table, I asked him "She cried?" he then showed me his shirt thats a little wet, which showed that she did. We chatted a little, he bring up this thing about wacking him, he asked me to punch him as a friend, but I said "No! Because if I were to do that, i'll just end up making Hong and Kae Shiuh sad and also, i'm acting the way I was remembered by someone special to me and living that way but don't worry, its not Jess ^^" he then keep quiet. Then a few minutes later she came back along with Christina and Amanda. Both Dan and Jess were quiet whilst Christina and Amanda was asking me a lot of questions like, "Why'd you not be close friends back with Dan?" and many more similiar questions which kept going on, well thats until I brought up saying that "Both of them are dead to me now, and now, they're just normal friends, to me Dan is just my school friend and Jess is just a tuition friend to me, nothing much more than that anymore" Jess was pissed at what I said and she told me off saying "You're SELFISH!!!" and I replied calmly "Yes! Yes I am!" while I kept to myself saying "How about YOU? It has always been YOU hasn't it? What YOU want... Who's being selfish now? How about friggin ME? Heck to you, I think there is NO ME after all i've been through for YOU, i've got nothing but pain, so why must I do things the way YOU want it to be?". Then she walked away and this time with Dan. And also before this I told Dan that, from now on DON'T come to me if he needs someone to talk to, he knows best who to go to. So then the debating started out between me Christina and Amanda (oh trust me, they're VERY persistent, but hey i've made it through). Well it went on until they said "Alright then, at least think about what we said..." well basically they're also trying to make all 3 of us to be as it is before, but I told them "After what happened, its impossible looking it that way, after being through stuff like this, I... just can't..." and later on I told them that I appreciate what they're trying to do, really I do but I told them that I think that things is better the way it already is. We then decided to head back to the tuition not knowing where Dan and Jess went, we found out that they were there. Well the class went well and they seem happy sitting together talking, like I said, things are better the way it is, i'm not involved in their lives anymore and so are they whether they liked it or not. At that night, I talked to my sis about it saying how regretful I was doing all those things for her, i've pushed both physically and mentally to the extreme and what exactly for, to get hurt was the conclusion. But Rachel's words made me realised something... She told me "Be sad once and be stronger next". And as usual nowadays, I wasn't able to sleep until the it reaches 3~4am (~.~) thinking about the things that happened to me. Well for the first time today, Hong actually spoke to me seriously, trying to cheer me up today (which he always does lolz). Then we went to our normal hangout in SS2 together along with Kae Shiuh, Guan Shern, Swee Loong, Jian Yet, Yeong Shan, Hong Chun, Nigel, Terence, Pak Sun and Kenny (a big group, I know =D). Played a few games of DotA which felt so much more relieved, then later on we all said goodbye except that me and Kae Shiuh was going back together, i've asked Kae Shiuh about what should I do, he then told me don't do anything about it, leave it as it is. Then it got to me, I know that i've already tried my best but they don't like the result I gave them, so what the heck. I'm not that bothered by it anymore. I guess this is it and Chapter 4 will be on my birthday =D (having crazy thoughts about what I should do on/before that day with my friends)

P.S: I really want to thank Hong and Kae Shiuh for trying to cheer me up, honestly I appreciate what you guys are doing and it helps ^^

"Your time is up, my time is now, you can't see me, my time is NOW!" - John Cena - The time is now

And just so you know

I've lied to my dad saying that the tuition over here in Puchong stacks with my Japanese class for the econ's class. I friggin don't work last Saturday because of her, which is for only 2 hours because she asked me out 2 weeks ago and Miss Yuki was kinda mad at me because of it, I stayed back for the past 2 weeks thursdays because of her while I was so darn tired, I DID went for her, its just that I don't show it. Because I don't want her to worry or feel bad about it, thats why I NEVER told anyone about it.

This is not one of the chapters, its off the chapter....

Chapter 3.5: Betrayed... manipulated... it'll never end

I guess its as the chapter says... i've been betrayed and manipulated by two people who I THOUGHT that they're special to me. Hmph... lets start out with Jess, we started out as normal friends and later on she told me she had feelings for me, at first I didn't believed her as she doesn't act like it, but on the first and last lunch we had, I was convinced that she is as she brought me last year's exam paper for Biology and Chemistry... and also giving me a short message, at that time, I thought how sweet of her to do those as nobody has ever did something like that for me. So ever since that i've tried to do something for her too... I've changed Suren's thoughts about her as normally, Suren will just call her a bitch in front of me but now he doesn't call her that way in front of me because we respect each other and he somehow knew I was going for her. Then as things started to turned out right, Dan asked me about the tuition I went along with Jess. At that moment, I knew that if I were to tell him about the tuition, he'd come into my personal life and things wouldn't turn out right... But no, I somehow still had faith in him so I decided to tell him about the tuition that me and Jess was in. What was important about it is that while we're still very close friends, I told him "Whatever your personal life concerns, I don't give a damn, so don't ever get involved into mine either", but no, he HAS to friggin put his friggin nose into my personal life. Ever since then, they started to develope their relationship until one day Jess just send me an sms saying "Erm, u noe wat? Lets juz stay at close friends... Believe me, its not because of Chee Boon (some guy).. but im not that kind of gurl that can b commited in a relationship that is under wraps... You don't want my friends to know and I want them to know so badly, we're too different... Frankly I notice that we r driftin apart.. I'm sorry" While I was walking back all the way from my tuition which was in PJ state, to my home... I was planning about the things I should do for her and all... Until I received that sms, I was kinda sad... But I told her that I won't give up as i've admitted to her that I too liked her, but before I make anymore moves, I asked her to answer me honestly whether shes going for anyone else. But she replied no, other than Chee Boon thats going for her. At that time I knew... I just knew it, but I didn't react to it. The next day, after I went my normal hangout in SS2 in a cyber cafe, I went to Dan's house as because I had no transport back. Ever since then I was moody... Thinking about it like almost everytime, then later on that night, he asked me a question which kinda triggered my fear, he asked me "Hey umph Daryl, will you be mad at me if I were to do something like what Dexter did?". At that moment I knew that my hunch was right, so I answered him calmly, "It depends on what it is..." while playing the computer. Then after a few minutes later, I asked him back, "Why'd you ask me that question earlier?", he then replied "Err nothing". So I decided to ask him later on again when I think he was ready, the same thing happened but I added "You and Jess are couples is it?" asking him calmly. He replied with the look I somehow knew saying "Erm... no..." and he said "You'll find out tommorow" which was supposed to be a 2 person outing, which was planned by Jess 1 week before together with me. Then I gave him a chance to speak out because i'm calm at that time and also i'm giving him a chance to explain... but no he prefer's to keep it rather than telling me, then I told him "It's better if you tell me rather than I find out" but he still sticks to his decision. On that night while I was reaching home, I stop by a food stall near my house to get something to eat, I sms'ed Rachel as I remembered while using Dan's comp, she was the only person online. The message goes something like this "Hey there Rach, you awake? If not then nevermind ^^ sorry to disturb you by the way" (i'll skip a few sms). Then later on after my bath she replied asking me why and what was wrong... I told her that I was kinda sad and need someone to talk to and I told her that shes the only person in my phone who is awake at that time (which was around 2.00am). So I told her my situation but I didn't tell the whole story as I was tired to type, but she somehow made me feel better. Then the next day, me, Dan and Jess went for the movie, filled with disgust and uncomfortable, I had to watch the movie together with them. It's like they're telling me "Hey Daryl! Thanks to you, we are both together!" (~.~) honestly, if I knew something like this were to happened, I would've just sit at home play my PS2. So basically I was kinda moody the whole day even during our cathering that night. Well said enough, to conclude it all, I felt like I was just a bait for Jess to get Dan and for Dan it was an opportunity for him to get something. Stupid me for even falling for this type of girl... But somehow I really want to believe shes not that type of person and keep telling myself that... But I guess it just happens in one's dream... And I could've sworn that I would've done anything to get her... Until now... And for Dan, if he can do this to me now, how about my future? He might take my wife as well... Readers can think i'm just jealous and childish, but i've had it... always friggin giving, NEVER receiving. If I were to forgive both of them, it'll take quite sometime to build back the trust that I had given them but I don't think i'd want something like this to ever happen to me again... Well I think this is my decision at least... but heck, think of it if you're in my situation. Colin was telling me "OF all people Dan!?? He should at least think! And I thought he's your best friend..." I told him yea the situation sucks... and I told him "You know, I have this feeling of wacking him up but hes my friend... so I guess I can't do anything about it..." and Colin kinda agreed to what I said. I guess I feel much better after writing this post... And I just got my piercing done, don't think i'd be able to go to school for a few days, well guess this is it, till then wait for the next chapter ^^!

"NEVER bother my personal affairs and so would I to yours" - Daryl (a.k.a Wiegraf, Urameshi)

Chapter 3.4: Justice... A dream come true

Its been quite sometime since i've last updated, a lot has happened. Amongst all I think I enjoyed "Bon Odori" festival the best though ^^. I was supposed to go there with Dan and Jess, but unfortunately Dan was still in a cyber cafe and forgotten all about it whilst Jess can't go because of her parents... That leaves only me. On the way to the stadium, Claire sms'ed me saying that she's also going, well to be honest I was kinda glad that I thought that I won't be going there alone. I asked her bout Ah Kit and Eric but she doesn't know whether they're coming or not and we decided to meet up during the festival. Once i've reached at 6.00pm I was looking for Claire until 7.30pm when I decided to tell Claire that its alright and that we can meet anytime, it was so crowded that we ended up not meeting. I was kinda lonely there till I met Terence (a nice guy, met in a cybercafe) while walking around the food stalls. He was shocked that I came there alone and we chatted till we met Rachel, Faith, Guo Zhang (a friend from school), Diana and Kong Weng (well at least these are the names that I can remember). They were having a picnic in the middle of the small field. A few days before Bon Odori, Rachel invited me to go along with her as I told her most probably i'll be going alone but I refused (as i'm afraid to see Faith). But in the end I still ended up tagging along with them (lolz!). Rachel was telling me how quiet I was because I hardly talk to anyone there except Kong Weng. Well I guess I didn't talk much because i'm afraid that I might spoil any of their days by saying something wrong. And to be honest, Rachel, Li Yen and Diana looked beautiful wearing the kimonos (XD don't worry I have no intentions at all =P). Well the rest was dancing (lolz!), everyone was gathering in the middle of the stage dancing around it, and trust me, this is my first time dancing and I really enjoyed it =P. Well next on to "My screwed up friggin Malay language teacher". It started out as like any normal Wednesdays but I knew something bad will happened that day... I argued with my bm teacher until she brought up my parents, she said "Macam inikah ibubapa kamu mengajar kamu? Ibubapa kamu tidak ajar kamu!" ("Is this the way your parents brought you up? Your parents didn't teach you!). Thats when it triggered me, I told her "You DON'T involve my parents in this!", and she replied "You shut up!" and I said to her "No YOU shut up!" while Dan was trying to keep me cool down saying "Chill Daryl, Chill...". She isn't satisfied and she brought this up to the "Student's Problem Teacher" (or something like that) I was kinda relieved that the "problem" teacher that screwed up teacher brought me to was a teacher i'm kinda closed to. Well I was in tears saying that she insulted my parents (such a wuss ~.~)... but whatever I tried to say, they seem to be manipulating every single words I say. We conclude it that I was wrong for telling a teacher to shut up... trust me its not fair... what is worst comparing saying to someone shut up and for someone to talk bad about your parents ~.~? I was punished to get canned twice at my butt... hey Marcus, i'm friggin sure that Australia there's such thing as a STUDENT'S RIGHTS, after all, I HATE my country... The only thing I treasure in this country are my family and friends and maybe some special places. I think i'll stop here for now, looking forward to type down more but as i'm typing now, i'm kinda feeling down... but anyways look out for Chapter 3.5 ^^

"As when you notice, theres no such thing as justice..." - Daryl (a.k.a Wiegraf, Urameshi)